Day 256 The Perfect Mom Project

Todays photo is self explanatory...my kids can be mean!

Oh where oh where can Ragen's blog be? Here it is!

I spent the morning helping my youngest prepare for her trip to Chicago with her school. "Socks?" "Yep", "Panties?" "Yep", "Tooth paste?" "Yep". One after the other we checked off the items; loaded the car and drove to the school. Avery climbed out of the car I handed her the suitcase, hugged her and off she went. I climbed back into the car and there sat her homework. As I ran towards her with her papers, she came up to me and said "Mom you are amazing, thanks." Back to the car I went with a spring in my step and a reminder of how great being a Mom really is. These last few days have been tough. I have not been sleeping well and I have felt unsettled and full of anxiety. When my daughter told me I was awesome, I suddenly thought, "You know what? I am". As a mom you do not have a report card or review other then the moments when you get it right with your kids and they tell you that you got it right. As I spoke with my daughter Ashleigh the other day about the events that have been unfolding with my Dad's passing, she shared words of comfort and caring, hearing her tell me that she loved me and supported me, was another A on my Mom report card. I have gotten so caught up in someone else's vision of who I am that I forgot that they were wrong. It all still hurts, all the little things that keep burbling up from down south, but that is not the definition of me. I cannot allow these things to affect me or my self esteem. My greatest gage of who I am is the fabulous family that I have. Three loving, caring (most days) children and a wonderful husband that works hard and makes many of my dreams come true.

 I am not making any promises, I could slip off my happy cloud any minute and fall flat on my self esteem, but for now I am standing tall and roaring loudly. I must get back to the business I started…mothering. Besides, Mothers Day is only days away I need to put in a good word for myself with my bosses.