As my family sleeps this morning, I am trying to plan my day out. The girls are spending the day with friends bowling, and Mark and I have some errands to run. For the first time ever on New Years Eve, we will not be with our kids. Aly has been invited to a girlfriend’s house for a sleepover party and Avery has been invited to sleep over at a friend’s house too. Mark and I will be heading to a party at our good friends that live down the street from us.
I keep wishing it was different. Not having the girls with us for New Years seems weird to me. They are getting to an age now where this will happen more and more until they are out on their own. I have to face it, but just do not want to. Something as simple as a holiday apart triggers so many thoughts and feelings. It really is amazing.
I remember when my girls were babies, and I would wish them through little phases in there growth. Things like, I wish she would sleep through the night, or I wish she would crawl, or walk. I even remember thinking when Ashleigh was in high school, “I wish she had a boyfriend” (that makes me laugh now!), be careful what you wish for. My point is that I have stopped wishing things along and I have started being more present in the girls lives right now. I am not as eager to have them speed through the growing up check points as I once was. Now I am holding tightly to each minute with them.
I will be honest; I know I am pushing Aly to drive. I think that that will be good for both of us. It will take the pressure off of me to get her around, and it will give her the freedom that all teenagers need. I also know at some point, she will climb into a car and drive away from home towards a life on her own. Realistically, that is what I have been working towards all along isn’t it? But, for now I just have to get through a New Years Eve without my kids by my side. I am sure I will have a few little tears at midnight, but when you look at the big picture, I think we are all on the right track and that is a good thing!
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