I was at the Parent Club meeting at the middle school yesterday. The December meeting is always nice, because they serve quiches and fruit and all kinds of yummy bagels and coffee cakes. Since this was going to be my very last middle school December meeting, I did not want to miss it! With the wind whirling around and the snow blowing, I headed out to my meeting.
It was great to see my friends and also to hear from some of the speakers that were there for the meeting, but the best part was after everyone had left and four of us were helping clean up and talking about our 8th graders. The school counselor was there with us and one of the moms was sharing how a girl was pursuing her son. She was stunned by the lengths this girls was going, to attract her son, and she was even more stunned by the texts she was sending to him. She told us how she would calmly say to him, "let me see your phone for a minute" and then just skim through his texts and she wondered if that was OK. She also shared that the girl was actually already seeing her son's best friend and she had warned him that this could end badly with his friend. Her biggest worry was whether she was parenting to much, or not enough. Good question! How do we ever know that? When is it time as a parent to step back and let your kids be.
I have struggled with that since my oldest Ashleigh was born. Once she went off to college I tried to stay out of her business, but it was not always easy to do, and I am sure I was a frustration to her many times. Especially when she started to date my now son-in-law. I was not too sure about him and I told her that plenty of times, but she persisted. At one point frustrated by her choices, I looked up at the sky and said "I am giving this all to you God!" I have to say that was actually a turning point in our relationship. Once I released my expectations of her and let God be the guide, things really turned around. I absolutely love my son-in-law, I now see in him what Ashleigh saw and I am proud of her for standing her ground and not folding when I put in my two cents.
I did share with my friend yesterday that I think parenting is something that you do from your gut. I think it is important to trust your instincts and talk with your kids about what you are feeling. Everyone of us agreed that she was on the right track and that as long as her son was communicating with her about what was happening, she was good to go. It was nice to hear that other moms question their performance record too. The hard part is the girl this mom is talking about is one of Avery's friends. I also know that Avery has been struggling lately because some of her group of friends have gone boy crazy. Avery wants everything to stay just like it is. She loves her girlfriends and she does not like what these boys are doing to there little group.
Tonight is the 8th Grade Dance. It is THE EVENT of the year every year. Avery has her cute dress and she is going to have a cute hairdo, she is very excited! I hope that tonight, Avery and her friend's can have fun and put some of the puberty stirred drama aside. There is also an after party at a girlfriend's house and there will be boys there too. Makes me think, "What is the rush?" I know we have to go down this path, but does it have to be now? I have signed up to chaperon at the dance and Mark and I have been invited to come to the after party too, so we will be keeping an eye on all of this. In the middle of this I have to remind myself that my little girl is growing up and someday she will be telling me how much she loves some guy, and I am going to have to once again look up to heaven and hand it over!
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