"Mom, I do not want you to get progress reports from my teacher anymore, I do not want you to worry about my homework!!" This is what Aly said to me when we were talking about some papers that were listed as missing on her weekly progress report. My response, was "TOO BAD!"
Two days ago I mentioned to Aly that she had two papers listed as missing on her weekly report from the teacher. Her normal A in the class was now a B+. Not terrible by any means, but why the missing papers? Aly, was upset with me, because she thought my issue was the grade. It was not the grade, it was the missing papers. The papers were actually done and in her folder, but the teacher had asked the class to turn them in when Aly was out of school one day for Thespian Festival. Aly tells me she asked the teacher if they had turned in anything when she was gone and the teacher told her they had not. I just felt that somewhere she had dropped the ball.
The papers did get turned in yesterday, the teacher excepted them, because they were from a day that Aly was absent. Aly's point, was "What's the big deal Mom?" and mine was "You have to follow through!" We were at an impasse, because Aly felt she had followed through the best she could, and I could not let it go that the papers had been missing. I kept trying to explain to her that I was looking at the bigger picture, I want to be sure that she understands that follow through and double checking are very important. Teachers and bosses do not normally care why you did not get the job done, they just care that it is not done. Over all Aly was upset that I did not have faith in her and that I felt I needed to follow up on her.
Honestly, I have been receiving these weekly progress reports for several years and this is the first time that it was a problem. I took to heart what Aly said about not wanting me checking up on her. I recognize that she thinks I am pressuring her and I will have to regroup a little on that. My only purpose in receiving these reports, is so we can all stay up to speed about what is going on at school. We have had a couple times in the past where we were able to find errors and have them corrected. That's when I am celebrated as an awesome Mom and get the (Keep up the good work!) pat on the back.
I know after 26 1/2 years of parenting, that I am not going to get it right every time, but when I am asked to remove myself from the parenting process, it is time to do a quick self scan and make sure I am still on my game. Perhaps it is time for a little tune up. I am thinking a lot about the things that Aly said to me yesterday, and if I can help take some of the pressure off of her, I will. All I ask is in the mean time make sure you get your school work turned in and love me even though I am flawed, because...this is it, this is the Mom that you have and nothing is going to change that. Most importantly we both need to have faith in each other that we are doing the best that we can at being mother and daughter, we have a long road left ahead of us and I would like us to walk it together.
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