Somewhere in this crazy morning I need to write my blog. Our carpool passenger needed to be to school early and the dog has a grooming appointment and I do too. Plus I need to grocery shop and prepare for dinner this evening, and just to make it a little more fun, Avery is having her twin friends over to spend the night. I still have laundry and cleaning and packing for our upcoming trip, and all I hear in my head is AAAGGGGHHH!!
Recently, I heard a story about a fifteen year old girl who committed suicide because of bullying from some girls at her high school. It hit me hard. Aly is fifteen and I cannot imagine that mothers pain. Aly is just starting to blossom into a young woman and she has all of these opportunities ahead of her. To have her suddenly take her life, because of insensitive and mean spirited kids would be absolutely devastating! I can only imagine that this mother feels robbed. How is it possible that these girls could not see that what they were doing was hurtful? The counselor at Avery's middle school spoke at a parent meeting once and said that kids do not understand that when the say something mean and hurtful to a another kid, they never forget it. The comment stays with them for the rest of their lives and they replay it over and over in their head.
I know this is fact, because I still playing the comments in my head from middle school. I had terrible acne for most of my life and it starting around the age of 9. It was horrible! Add to that the constant moving, and it was a recipe for disaster. My Mom always said "kids are resilient; they can bounce back from anything". Well, I am here to tell you that that is a load of crap! Here is one person that did not bounce back very well; anyway…during my second middle school in 2 years, I was faced with some very insensitive kids who made a very mean and hurtful judgment call. I had to give a presentation in front of one of my classes, and the teacher had asked that each student evaluate the other students during the presentation. She handed out forms to write out our thoughts. In the area on those sheets where it called for the speakers name the kids wrote; zitzini, zitzilla, zit queen etc. The worst part is the teacher actually gave them to me. I have NEVER bounced back from that. Those comments affected my self esteem then and continued to affect my self esteem up until a very few years ago. Let's face it I knew I had acne, and anyone that has had acne knows that it is no fun. So to be called out and beat down with it was the worst thing possible. The counselor was right, you do not forget.
I wish that I could wrap that poor mother in my arms and take away the pain I know she is feeling. I am sure she is beating herself up for not seeing her daughter as suicidal. I am sure that she is angry with the mean girls and she may never be able to be at peace now that her daughter has been taken from her. In this tragedy, I see an opportunity to talk to my girls about coming to me if they are hurt or sad. I also want to remind them how much words hurt. I know that they are most often kind to others, but just on the off chance that someone they know is going through something painful like this poor young girl did that took her own life, I want my girls to know how important it is to be the friend that stands by and holds a hand and also gives words of encouragement and strength. Being alone in your pain and feeling like you have nowhere to turn can make you think about things that are not even imaginable on a normal day. I want my girls to reach out; I want them to stand up for those that cannot stand on their own and I want them to know that I love them and I will protect them and fight for them and stand by them until the time comes that they can stand on their own. In this small way, maybe this mom can learn from another mom who has only memories and pain left.
No comments:
Post a Comment