Day 239 The Perfect Mom Project

After another great visit with Ashleigh and Scott, we came home tired and unenergetic. We are all still dragging from last week. I am not sure what happened to us on vacation, maybe too much relaxation, because we are all complaining about how tired we are. Mark and I did go out for a few minutes to look at lawn mowers last night. We cannot put off the inevitable we are going to have to buy something so that we can get our lawn mowed. I think if we do not get at it soon, we should just throw wild flower seeds out there and go for the natural look. That might not make our neighbors too happy though.

 Today is moving day for Aunt Nina. I am hoping that this move will be a positive change for her. The place that she is moving to is more of a community and less of a hospital environment. She will have her own room that looks out on to a court yard and there are activities of all kinds for her to be involved in. I know that she still wants to go home, but she does not want people in her home, so this is our only alternative at this time. I have high hopes that this will be a positive change.

 Yesterday I called my Dad to let him know we were back from our trip and to see how he was doing. He sounded pretty good and I mentioned that once school was out we would try to come visit him. After we hung up I got in touch with my youngest sister to see if she was thinking of going down to see him and she told me that he had requested my next oldest sister to come down (alone) before the end of the month to go over his will. Apparently he does not think he has much longer and he wants everything sorted out. That is not something he would ever say to me. I know that we do not have a real parent child relationship, I have always annoyed him and that is not going to change now. For some reason I still feel it is important for me to make an effort, even if it is not a returned gesture. Even now, knowing that his life is coming to an end he cannot seem to reach out and heal the relationships that he has broken. I can only stand back and watch with sadness as he hurts my sisters over and over again. I wish it was different, but so much has happened since my Mom has died that I have to focus on what is right for me and my family. The most I can do for my sisters now is support them and help them through this difficult time. I still cannot get past the irony of the timing. It was exactly a year ago I was flying back and forth visiting my Mom before she died. Here we are again, walking down this path with life and death holding hands. I find this all very interesting and sad.

 On a happy note I have a great life, I have a fabulous husband and great kids and I have my dog back by my side. I also have a wonderful support group of friends, who look out for me and care about me. No matter what happens I can handle it, with back up like that I cannot go wrong. Now, I just need to get Aunt Nina moved so I can get back home and do something about this lawn!