Thursday, April 29, 2010

Day 249 The Perfect Mom Project

Yesterday was a doozie! I went to see aunt Nina and took her the dress that Aly and I had picked out for her and had dry cleaned. As I walked in she asked me what I had, and when I told her, she said "I'm not wearing that!" "OK, why not?" I asked her. "Because, I am wearing my black pants and top" she said. I stared at her for a few seconds and then I said. "Alright, that's your decision, but if you do not want to wear it, then I will give it to someone else here that might want it." I was annoyed, but not surprised. If it is not her idea, she is automatically against it. I sat there making small talk with her trying hard not to act annoyed, when she says to me "I told Nancy, she and Craig could use my house for a card party they are having." "What?" "I am not sure that is a good idea Aunt Nina, how are they going to get in to the house?" I said this knowing that either Mark or I or her aide/companion Anna would have to trot over there to let them in. The other interesting piece is that Nancy is Aunt Nina's ex-son-in-law's girlfriend. She has been visiting my aunt several days a week, and my aunt goes on and on about what a good friend she is.

My Aunt has a stove that the only thing that is working on it is one burner. There are piles and piles of all of her personal papers with account numbers etc. all over them on two different tables and no one has been staying at the house since last August. The house is not in good condition at all. The reason they want to use her house is that Craig has been remodeling his house for the last 12 years (not exaggerating), and they do not have a working kitchen or any place to entertain. All I saw was red flags. It's her house and she can do what she wants, but she did not even like me looking through her stuff, and she has know me my whole life, now this person has assured her she will go in and tidy everything up and I am ticked! It just happened that Nancy called my cell phone yesterday to find out if my Aunt was feeling OK, because she was not answering her phone, so when I called her back, I assured her that my Aunt was fine, and then I mentioned that this idea of a party at my Aunts house made me very nervous.

I am not sure how all this will turn out; and I really do not care if I make my Aunt mad, because I am trying to protect her. I mean who does that? Granted my Aunt offered it up, but why would this woman except? My Aunt says she trusts Nancy and she is not worried about it, but there are a lot of things that could happen. What if someone gets hurt at her house, what if someone takes something, what if, what if, what if? I am hoping that my comment to this "friend" on the phone will at least let her know that not everyone is on board with this. If she has any sense at all and truly does care about my Aunt she will then back off of this crazy scheme.

As I was leaving my visit with my Aunt, my cell phone rang. It was my sister calling to tell me that she was on her way with her husband, to New Orleans to see my Dad. He is refusing certain medications now and he is in a lot of pain. He wants to see my sister to discuss the final preparations for the estate etc. All I could do was cry. I do not like all of his choices in the last few months, but I am very sad for the horrible painful way he is dying. Cancer is literally eating him alive. All I could think of was that my Mom died last year on May 22nd, and I wondered if she was standing there at heaven's gate waiting for him? I also find it ironic that he is so close to death around the same time that she passed. I am not sure what will happen next, but I have braced myself for the hurt and sadness that is bound to come in the next few weeks.

No comments: