My cousin called me last night. She and I got into a discussion about our family. Mainly the lack of family. My cousin has two brothers and sadly her mom passed many years ago, when she was still a very young women. I, as you might remember am an only child. We were talking about the fact that when my Great Aunt passes we will be the last standing matriarchs of our family. Since she is slightly older then I am I will gladly relinquish the title to her. No use fighting over it, I do not think I am mature enough to be considered for the position.
We have both gotten a lot of joy out of hearing the stories that our Aunt tells us. We have been fortunate that because we are a small family we are close to her. Without her in our lives, we would not have any information about our family. With both of our mothers gone, there is no one to share these stories with us or our children. We can preserve some of the family history to pass on.
Included in that history are some of the mistakes that our family has made. Nothing too embarrassing, but mistakes that we can learn from and pass that knowledge on to our children. My cousin and I have said for many years that we are dedicated to not repeating the past. I in particular am raising my children completely different then I was raised. I knew even as a young child that my children would have a different life then I had growing up. I spent a lot of time alone when I was young and I also never really felt valued. These two things were quite damaging and not something that I would recommend if you are working towards Perfect Motherhood.
I am so grateful to have my cousin to talk to about my life and also hers, we both dealt with great trauma at young ages. We have been able to encourage each other in working through the road blocks and getting on with the business of being happy. Our children have become friends and we enjoy watching them interact. It reminds us of when we were kids playing with her brothers. When they would come to visit it was always a wonderful vacation for me. I am certain that as the years move forward that our stories will fade some, but right now for me they remain fresh in my mind. Constant reminders of what life should not be and also some reminders of the joy that having family gives you.
I look forward to passing all of this on to my girls. Some of the history they already know and some they will learn when the time is right. For now I am happy to pass on my love and time to them so that they will never think that they do not matter. There will always be plenty of time and plenty of love available here waiting for them. I think that as a good mom that is my job, don't you?
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