One thing that I truly believe is that you can not be a good wife or mother unless you take care of yourself. You may have heard the old saying "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"! I see this play out at my house a lot. If I am aggravated about something, even if it has nothing to do with my family, the tension and stress will telegraph down to my family. I really do think it is important to care for you as well as your family.
I know as a Mom there is a temptation to put our kids above everything else. I think that for some it is a way to show that they are a "good mom". The truth is that once our kids get out into the real world, no one else is going to care for their every wish or desire. That will be their job. Perhaps a little disappointment now and then is not a bad thing. The other side of this is that just because you take time for yourself, does not mean your family has to suffer.
A breakfast or dinner out with a friend can be a great way to remind yourself you are not just a Mom, but a person too. Sometimes doing something you love, for example exercising or in my case writing, can help you become a better mom. Having that time to reconnect with a friend or do something you enjoy helps you maintain who you are. One day the kids are on their own and you are wondering..."What do I like to do"?, or even "Who is this guy next to me in bed"? I think making time for yourself and your husband also helps make you a good Mom.
Being a Mom should not have to mean giving up who you are. Just because I gave birth to children does not make me a lesser being. If I model that to my children, then that is what they will become too. I want my girls to grow up knowing it is OK to take time for themselves. I also want them to know that their children will be the best, most frustrating, thing they will ever do. If occasionally taking a few hours to recharge, helps keep the "Momma ain't happy" juices from flowing, I am all for it. Whatever it takes to propel us through another day of working towards being "The Perfect Mom"!
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