Day 147 The Perfect Mom Project

One of the things I love the most about having more then one child is watching the sibling dynamics at work. Having been an only child, I depend on Mark (he has 3 sisters and a brother) to tell me about siblings and how they tick. Mark was the one that pulled me off the ledge when I was upset that the girls were fighting. My fantasy was that if I had a sibling, we would skip merrily along all the time. He was the one that told me that siblings fight and sometimes they are mean to each other. I was shocked; I was not going to have children like that. My children would always love each other and never fight!

Well, I am slapped in the face by reality almost everyday. It amazes me the things these girls will get mad at each other about, “You opened my door without my permission!” or “I have homework, you have to get off the computer”. Ashleigh (my oldest) has been mad for a good 10 years, because one of her sisters chucked a Lego at her in the car when we were on a family trip. I still hear about that every time we talk about another car trip. Ashleigh has sworn off car trips now and she insists that her 3 year old sister knew exactly what she was doing and intended great bodily harm. This is not at all what I dreamed of when I dreamt about having siblings.

I also never expected that each one of my children would be different from the other. It is amazing how three people can come from the same family and be so different. I have to say though, as different as they each are, they are also alike in many ways too. My children all have big hearts and will do just about anything for anyone that needs help. They each have their own sense of humor, they are able to laugh easily and they can laugh at themselves. I am also proud that they are loving children that try hard to be respectful (come on no kid can be respectful all the time!) most days.

Reality is that you cannot live with anyone 24/7 and not have some conflict. My fantasy siblings most probably would have driven me nuts too. Even now with the siblings that I have been adopted into there are conflicts. I am happy that I know the truth, I can stop beating myself up because my kids fight or disagree. I also know that the conflicts do not last long. It is common for the girls to be done fighting and me still hopping mad about the whole thing. I am just glad that they have each other. It may not seem like a big deal to them right now, but someday it will be nice to have someone that knows all about their crazy Mom and they can all talk about it and laugh together. If nothing else, this will help make the sibling dynamics worth every minute.