Thursday, November 26, 2009

Day 95 The Perfect Mom Project

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
OK, for the record, I can think of at least 50 different ways to spend a day then sitting around listening to my Dad tell me how he had no idea my Mom had been showing signs of Alzheimer's disease. I also would like to understand why he thinks it is a good idea to tell me that all of my Mom's things are in a room upstairs and if I want any of them, I should load them in my car. Well, hello to you too.

My expectation is that today is going to be like walking through Hell. Watching people I do not know sitting around what was my Mom's house, eating off of my Mom's dishes, is not my idea of a good time. I know I am going to see and hear things in the next two days that will challenge me as a person. I want to feel on my game, but right now I just feel like I am watching a family self destruct. Dad having Cancer is enough of a challenge, but when you add all these other issues (girlfriend, wills, and who to trust)into the mix, you are looking at a recipe for disaster.

I have to keep reminding myself that my kids will never have to live through anything like this. The dysfunction that started generations ago is coming to an end, and in the big picture, that is what matters most. I may not be a perfect mom, but I am happy with the mom that I am. I hope that my children will be happy in the end too.

My goal here continues to be honoring my Mom, being there for my sisters and trying not to yell at my Dad to please stop saying negative things about my Mom, so that he can make what he is doing now seem OK. I am not his judge and never intend to be his judge. This fiasco is between him and the Heavenly Father. Nothing he says to me now will change his fate. If he wants to explain anything, I would recommend he get on his knees, I see a real long conversation ahead for him.

1 comment:

Susan said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and I am praying for you all today.

You have hit the nail on the head with what is happening with your Dad. Don't listen to the negative. These are going to be extremely hard days, be strong and don't forget to give the issues to God. God will help you find the way.

I am so happy that you are in my life and like you said we may not be perfect people, but our lives are richer because we work hard to be understanding, loving, compassionate Mom's that make their families the center of their world because in reality life is short and time goes fast.

God Bless You and Happy Thanksgiving because we do have so much to be thankful for.