Today I am going to visit my Aunt Nina. We are meeting with her attorney to sign paperwork that would allow me to help her with her banking. When Mark and Aunt Nina and I originally started talking about this, it seemed like a great idea. This was going to really help streamline some of the things that we try to help her with. She is legally blind, and her hearing is pretty bad. I think I have mentioned before, that Aunt Nina does not think it is her hearing, she thinks it is peoples annunciation. What ever! The fact is she does not hear well.
The last few weeks dealing with the news of my Dad having Lung Cancer and then of course the whole thing with him being in a relationship, has been tough enough. With the icing on the cake being Aunt Nina, there are days I could just sit in a chair with a blanket over my head and not move. I have to say, she is not the most appreciative person either.
I have had her rub in my face how "devoted" others are, based on the number of visits she receives from them. Considering that I live 40 minutes from where she is staying right now and that I am still trying to raise a family, I visit about once a week. Mark also stops by to see her once or twice a week on his way home from work. We have been there for her since her daughter Dana passed away 3 years ago and to me we do not need to be at her bedside daily, to prove our devotion.
I guess the hard part for me is that Mark and I are jumping through hoops to keep her life on a healthy and happy path, and she just does not seem to get it. Somehow she comes off as if we are hired help and we are expected to do all these things. I have fantasised from time to time, how I would tell her off, when I have the chance. I have never done it, and probably never will. Although she deserves a good verbal spanking, we just suck it up, because we do not want to rock this 92 year old woman's boat.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. I have to assume that right now, the reason I have Aunt Nina placed before me, is that I am to learn a lesson. What could it be? Maybe the lesson is something that I will not get until I am older and faced with some of the challenges that Aunt Nina has. One thing I know for sure is that I will understand how challenging caring for an elder is, and perhaps I will draw on that knowledge to show my caregivers the love and respect that they deserve. If that is all I take away from this, it will be worth it. In the mean time, I will go to see her today and try to stay on my best behavior. Everybody pray for me, please.
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