Well, if I have learned nothing else in my life, I have learned that if you want to know the truth, you have to be the truth. With that in mind yesterday, I decided to stop swirling the fact that my Dad was angry around in my head and face it head on. I had spent the entire night, the night before tossing and turning, and I was not about to lose another nights sleep over issues that I did not create.
Yesterday afternoon, I picked up the phone and called my Dad. Ring, ring..."Hello?","Hi Dad, I understand that you are angry with me." From there the conversation twisted and turned. I will not tell you that everything is hunky dory now, but I can tell you that my cards are on the table. I told him that we had planned to come to see him before all of this came up and that is what we intend to do.
I cannot change him, I know that for whatever reason, he believes what he is doing is the right thing to do. I do not agree. He feels that because he has Cancer that he must divest himself of all of his responsibilities and focus on himself. In a perfect world that would be awesome, but there is way to much involved here to just stomp on what my mother, (his wife of 27 years) set in place with him, years ago while she was of sound mind.
I, of course want him to be healthy and live a longer full life. At this point if that means he is with his girlfriend, so be it. I am not even going to worry about how all of that came about anymore, because my judgement is not the one that counts or even matters. There are pearly gates that we all have to step through at some point and that is where he will find the Ultimate Judge. All I can say is, "Good luck". I am not sure how you can convince our Heavenly Father that your current life choices are the right choices, and I am also pretty sure, that my Mom is not saving my Dad a seat next to her right now.
Over all, my goal is to keep what little relationship my Sisters and I have alive. I hope that as long as I stand on the side of what I believe is right and true and continue to be honest, that will happen. This will not be easy. We do not all agree about the direction that this Lifetime Channel special is taking. I can only continue to say, that this is about honoring what my Mother and my Dad set in motion several years ago, while she was of sound mind. There is no reason to mess with that, none. Any other details do not matter. This was an agreement that was made that was fair and just at the time and it remains so to this day. The fact that Dad is accusing us of greed is actually pretty hilarious. Seems like the pot is calling the kettle black.
I have to set all of this aside today. Avery will be coming home from her youth retreat, Aly will be here with us all day for a change, and we are off to celebrate a birthday with one of Mark's Godchildren. These are all happy things that deserve my full attention.
Regardless, of anything else, I will be thinking of my Mom again today. I know that now I must be her voice and I take that responsibility very seriously.
No comments:
Post a Comment