My little girls are growing up. This afternoon Avery is going on a youth retreat and she will return home on Sunday afternoon. She is so excited. I actually saw her do laundry yesterday (without a nudge from Mom), so that she would have "matching shirts" with her girlfriend that is going on the retreat as well. I am very comfortable letting her go and I know she will be in good hands.
Aly on the other hand has asked us to go to a play at a college in downtown Detroit. She has play practice for the high school play (coming up next weekend) tonight, and play practice from 10:00 AM until 4:00 PM on Saturday(tomorrow). After practice on Saturday she would like to go with some friends to see a production of a play (at the college about an hour away) that her school will be doing in the spring. This requires one set of parents to drive the kids to downtown Detroit and drop them off and another set of parents (Mark and I are not involved in the transportation at all) will go down after and pick them up.
When Aly approached us about this idea, my Mom alarm went off. No way, nope, not happening. I do not want my little girl prancing around that big city, its not safe. Aly was actually pretty good about my response. I knew she was disappointed, so I told her I would think about it a little more. As I did my typical decision rotation, I started to realize that she really was not a little girl anymore. She was becoming a young woman, by me being scared and protective, I could potentially make her fearful and less likely to be able to step out into the world with confidence.
So this morning, Mark and I told her she could go. We told her that we were counting on her to behave responsibly and that if this experiment failed, it would be a long time before we try it again.
Jeez, this stuff is not easy. You are trying to protect them with one hand and loosening the rope with the other. It is such a fine line. I have confidence in Aly. She really is a great kid, and has never given us anything to worry about, but it is never her that makes me worry, it is the other people. I have said that since the girls were little. I have nothing but faith in my children, but I am always worried about who might be out there that will disappoint them or hurt them. I also know that no matter how old all of my girls get, they are still my "little" girls.
When Aly leaves for the play tomorrow, it will be a good thing for her. It is another step towards growing up, which is what I am supposed to be helping her do, but it is also a step for me. I am letting go just a little bit, just slowly opening my fingers so that my little butterfly can take flight. Having released one beautiful butterfly into the world, you would think that I would be able to do this more easily, but each one of my children is precious to me and each one will be just as hard to let go.
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