Monday, June 28, 2010

Day 309 The Perfect Mom Project

Last night my youngest sister called me. She is struggling to make sense of all that has transpired over the last few months. The vision she has of our Dad has been ripped apart and she stands now holding the shreds that are left and wondering who Dad really was. My sisters are now even wondering if my Dad adopted me. In his own Will he does not mention me as a daughter and they have no explanation for it. I am past caring about it. He was so hurtful and has done so much damage in the past year that I am no longer able to feel the pain. It is like I have my own personal Novocain.

Each day there are new pieces brought to the table for the giant puzzle he created. How and why he devised a plan that would hurt his children is beyond me. I also am shocked at the people that have been involved in executing this plan of his. My hope is that we can make our way through this maze and come out on the other side without much more hurt, but I continue to brace myself by keeping the expectation that there is more hurt. Once again I am handing this all to God, I cannot carry this load without his help. I have many things ahead of me this week that require me to be a Mom and Wife and these need to be my focus. After all, my project is about becoming the perfect mom, not the perfect victim.

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