Todays photo is of me sleeping...something I am not doing right now!
It is 6AM on Saturday. It is 6AM on the Saturday after the Friday of the last day of school and I am awake. I have actually been awake since Aly's alarm went off at 5AM! I should mention that Aly is not home. Aly is spending the night at her girlfriend's house and is probably sleeping soundly at this very moment. There was a moment just now when I caught myself thinking I should have called her to wake her up to tell her that her alarm was going off, but it would have been difficult, since her phone is on my kitchen counter in a bag of rice (apparently a proven moisture absorption method) along with her camera. Somehow at a friend's house yesterday during all the fun and celebration of being out of school Aly was pushed into the friend's pool with her phone in one pocket and her camera in the other. Super! Now I feel like we are back to Little House on the Prairie times with no way to communicate. This is a good thing since it is probably a bad idea on many different levels to call my lovely daughter and thank her for leaving her alarm on. It is a beautiful summer morning and I would not want to miss it; I just would have liked it to be my choice to get up and not her alarm clocks. To be honest Mark is the one that jumped up to shut it off, however he is back in bed sleeping and I am not.
Avery came bounding into the house yesterday after her last day of school and announced "Mom, I am a 9th grader now!" I started to cry. I have been trying to sort through the many levels of what made me want to cry. Some of it is that my babies are all growing up. I wondered if some of it was me struggling with the fact that life was moving faster and faster every day. I am not really worried about growing old or dying, I know God has my back on that, but maybe for some weird reason I have started to mourn the ending of motherhood. I know I will always be a mother to all of my children, but they will all soon be at the age that does not require my full hands on mothering treatment. I am sure this delights them, but it makes me sad. Being a Mom is what I do. I have no other job or important task to perform, so now what?
That is the question I will ponder in the next few days. Now what? Is it time to think about me? Is it time to think about my husband and our life together? I am not in a rush, I still have four years before my last daughter completes high school, but I need to start weaning myself off of the full on mothering that I do. The best way that I see to start that process is to let Aly's phone sit in the bag of rice on my kitchen counter and let the whole mess be her problem. Whether the phone works or not is her issue. I am not going to go in and put the darn thing together (as much as I want to) and see if it works. This is her problem to work on, and I am going to let her do it. Motherhood, it's not just a job it is an adventure…I am really going to miss it!
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