Day 44 The Perfect Mom Project

This week is our local high schools homecoming. Each day of this week there is a different theme, for example yesterday was college day and the kids could wear there college gear. Aly tells me one friend of hers had Michigan State tattoos on her face and Michigan State clothing on as well. Aly is a member of the Sophomore student counsel and she is expected to participate in the weekly activities to help show school spirit. So when she was preparing for today's theme last night things turned interesting.

Today's homecoming theme is the 80's and neon. My first reaction was, how do these two things possibly go together? Whatever, I am not in high school and as I have had pointed out to me, "You don't get it Mom!" For the last several days Aly has been trying to come up with the perfect 80's outfit. I have given her some ideas and I even had a blazer I gave up from the good old days as a sacrifice to the cause. Aly spent a good amount of time trying to get the neon and 80's thing to mesh. She even went so far as to Google, 80's outfits.

Now, I just want to say that Google must have a mean streak, or a really bad memory of the 80's, because when she came to me during her trial run, all dressed in her outfit and said "What do you think about this Mom?" all I could say was, "We did not dress like that in the 80's!" Now things started to heat up, we went back and forth debating what Google thought was 80's and what I lived in the 80's. Well, at one point Aly says to me, "Well, I guess I cannot wear this, since you told me I look stupid!"

OK, I never said that, someone striving for mothering perfection knows better then to tell her child she looks stupid! I kept pushing the point that I lived the 80's and what she was wearing did not even remotely bring back fashion memories. As things heated up, I realized that I was not going to be the one prancing around the school in that getup, so let it go! I said, "You know what Aly if that is something you are comfortable wearing to school tomorrow then that is all that matters, my only point is that we did not dress like that." I then shut up.

Later in the evening she seemed to have a change of heart and took the outfit down a couple of notches. As we talked about it I explained to her that it is great to get in the spirit of things, but when it begins to make you upset or stressed, it is not worth it anymore. I wish that I had learned that lesson early on. I have spent a good part of my life trying to do everything just right. The problem with that is that you lose the joy. It is just not fun anymore when you make it a "have to" instead of a "want to".

I think that Aly and I both learned a lesson last night. I hope that Aly learned that she can have fun and be a part of activities without losing herself, and I have learned that when your daughter asks for your opinion, she really does not want it. Maybe Mom is starting to "get it" after all, we shall see.