There has been a lot of media attention lately about a famous person who avoided prosecution for the rape of a 13 year old girl. This person fled the country before his trial and basically lived a full life for 31 years in another country. He has now been captured and charged, and they are working to extradite him back to the United States for prosecution. There has also been heated discussion about whether or not it was rape, because for whatever reason he was able to plea bargain down to sexual relations with a minor.
Without going into to much detail, it has been said that this child was given drugs and alcohol by this man. He then proceeded to engage (in an attempt to keep this PG and not to belittle the event) have his way with the child. This whole thing has brought up a couple of issues for me.
Both of my youngest girls are in this age range. I cannot even imagine what I would do if anything even remotely similar to this happened to one of my children. I love that my children are growing up slowly and learning about life in a positive way. I know that I can not shield them from everything, after all Aly is in high school and I know it is a real eye opener there. On the other hand I also know that for now their innocence is not in jeopardy. My girls still have a joy and a spark about life that burns brightly everyday. I can not imagine that being taking away from them. I know I would struggle with forgiving anyone that hurt my girls.
I was molested when I was 11 years old. At the time I did not realize that's what it was. I was alone with my Mom's boyfriend and he took advantage of me. I struggled with what happened for many years, I knew it was not right, but at the same time I did not know why. I never told anyone, because I was afraid no one would believe me. I even took a chance when I was in my 20's and told my Mom about it, and as I expected she did not believe me. I have talked about this in therapy on and off for many years hoping to finally resolve the guilt, but there will always be a piece of me missing. A piece of me that someone I trusted took away. Nothing can bring that back.
That was 38 years ago for me and I still have the emotional scars. I laugh when I hear different people debating about this man. They bring up how long its been and how the authorities should let it go. The victim has even come forward and asked that it be let go. I am not surprised. You do not want to remember something like this. You want to keep it as far removed from you as you can. The trouble is that every time you hear about someone taking away the innocence of a child you remember what happened to you, you can never "let it go".
I joke about being the "Perfect Mom', but the truth is I will do anything I can to protect my girls from predators. I know that some things in life you can not control, but I will stay as diligent as I can. I never want them to have to look back at what they lost, or to feel the guilt for someone Else's wrong. I will be praying for this victim, she needs to know God's arms are around her. I also pray that justice will win. For me it does not matter how many years ago it was, because today it feels like it happened yesterday.
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