Day 169 The Perfect Mom Project

As I sat visiting with my girlfriends this weekend, one of them asked me if I was enjoying writing my blog. I told her that it has been a great way to work through all the thoughts and feelings I have been dealing with since my Mom passed away. When I originally started my blog it was a way to work through all of my feelings about my Mom and being a mom, as time has gone on, I am realizing that nothing I do is just about me. I am a Mom, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister and friend, each one of those titles involves me having contact with someone else.

This blog has been a great opportunity for me to sort out my feelings about many things that have happened or are happening in my life. There are many days as I write I start out with a plan to write about something that has happened and as I write, it pours out completely different then I originally thought it would. I sometimes write about events that have happened and how they have affected me or my family, as I look at the event on paper it helps me see more than just my side. As an example, I wrote the other day about my Dad. I did not even plan to write about those feeling and thoughts and yet there it was on paper.
I have never been someone that keeps my feelings to myself. Honestly, I am positive my family would tell you they have never wondered how I feel about anything. I am also certain that my family would tell you that I admit when I am wrong. That is another reason why I feel this blog was an important thing for me to do, many days as I write out my thoughts and feelings I realize that where I am standing on a particular subject is the wrong side. There is no sacred subject, because when this year is up I want to know that I have worked through any possible link of feelings about how I was raised and how I am raising my own children.

I am learning that my feelings and thoughts are not just affecting me, they are affecting everyone else. I hope by writing them out and working through them, I can help someone else too. It is all a matter of perspective. It is like looking through a window with someone. We each see something different when we first glance out, my perspective is no less important than the other persons, it is just different. The hard part is that since I am a mom, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, and friend, I have a lot of different perspectives. It takes a lot of balancing to get it right. Maybe by the end of this project some of my perspectives will merge. I hope so, because the thought of all of those perspectives has me overwhelmed.