Day 164 The Perfect Mom Project

Years ago, when I was a single Mom my life was very different. When Ashleigh was about three years old, I bought a used Mobile home. At the time I was making $6.00 an hour. I had no idea if I was going to be able to make it, but I was willing to try. I wanted a stable home in a nice town and this was my shot at that dream. Somehow, it worked. I learned a lot about being a Mom and a grown up from that part of my life.


$6.00 an hour does not offer you a very luxurious lifestyle; I worked hard to make ends meet and even paid off debt that was left by my first husband. I was determined to give my daughter a good life. Every summer in August I would take Ashleigh to a big store that offered layaway and we would choose clothes for her for school. I would slowly pay off the layaway so that Ashleigh would have nice clothes once school started. I did not want her to stand out as the kid “from the trailer park”. I wanted people to treat her like everyone else and I wanted them to see she was loved and cared for. I remember one time when Ashleigh was in about first grade, a teacher told her to tell me that her backpack was too small and I needed to get her a new one. I was so upset, for two reasons, first because the teacher told her this in front of all the other children and embarrassed her, second because I did not have the money to get her a new one at the time. I was offended that the teacher would tell a child something like that, not knowing the circumstances.

As I look back now, perhaps I did such a good job of pretending that we had it all that no one else could tell we did not. I had people ask me from time to time, how I did it, and I always replied, “What?” I just got up every morning like everyone else and lived the life God had set before me. I did not see myself living or doing anything extraordinary. I did struggle and I was sad from time to time, but it did not matter. I was letting each day play out just like it was suppose to.

Today, I wake up in a beautiful home, not large by any means, but beautiful and comfortable. I am able to dress my children with much greater ease and I do not worry about my children standing out as needy or under privileged. I am fortunate to live a life that I once only dreamed about. As I think about it, I believe that some of my good fortune comes from “playing through” my life. I never sat down and gave up. Don’t get me wrong, I thought about it a lot. It was not an easy way to live, but I am better for it.

I work hard everyday to teach my children that life is going to hand you problems it is what you do with the problems that matters. I also believe that how you present yourself to the world is important. If you do not care about you, who will? I have no regrets about my life as a single Mom. Ashleigh and I have some great memories from those days. I still get up every morning and “play through” the day and I make the best of trying to be a good Mom. That part of my life is no easier, the tools I have are different now, but the parenting part never changes. You just do the best you can and hope it works.