Day 323 The Perfect Mom Project

The other day we had a visiting pastor at our church, discussing defining moments in his life. As he spoke he encouraged us to think about the moments that have defined each of us in the church. As I have contemplated this challenge one moment stands out immediately, the day Ashleigh was born, or maybe even as far back as when I found out I was pregnant with Ashleigh. I knew I wanted to be a mom that was there for my child; I also wanted to be a mom that offered my child love and discipline both without conditions. I never wanted to discipline so harshly that my child feared me or hated me and I also knew that I wanted to supply enough love along with the discipline that my child never worried that my love would go away. Essentially I wanted to be a good mom, not perfect, but good.

This moment has defined me since then. I never have wished I was not a mom and I have never wished my kids would hurry and grow up (other than the occasional wish that they would potty train). Now as I watch my two youngest girls prepare to attend high school together, I see my next defining moment ahead, defining my life after my parenting roll changes from hands on to hands off. I am curious how this part of my life will look, and what I will make of this time ahead. From where I sit now, I see the door starting to close and I realize I must start stepping towards the window that God will open for me. At this moment I feel more nervous than excited about the time ahead. I hope and pray that as this defining moment becomes a reality I will be ready to climb through the window to get on with the next exciting part of my life. How that will look is all up to God, and I like knowing that my life's architect is always at work designing my path and defining me.