The Review

As our car was poised and ready to enter the car wash yesterday, Mark looked at me and asked "So, how do you feel your fiftieth year went?" I was not sure how to respond, because I had put my pedal to the metal last year when I turned fifty and I had not looked back since. As is typical in life it has been a busy year, and trying to access the year seemed a bit daunting, but I gave it a try.

"Well, I'm not sure…I am no longer a daughter, since my Mom and Dad died. I also feel like my life has stood still." I replied as our car was soaping up and rinsing its way down the car wash track. It crossed my mind that for some reason in the last couple of years between my Mom dying and the subsequent trauma of choices that my Dad was making before he died I had stopped in my tracks and I have been stalled there. I told Mark that outside of my writing, I do not think I have done anything to move myself forward as a person. You see I truly believe that I am here on this earth for a reason and I should not waste this time. I feel it is important to explore and learn and grow in some way every single day and for whatever reason, I have stopped my exploration.

I was once involved in things at my girls schools and the community. Outside of my time spent on mentoring with A Beautiful Me, I have pretty much resigned myself to laundry, cleaning, driving and cooking over the last year. Thanks to Mark's question I find myself doing a personal review. I am sure that Mark expected a quick reply like "Great!" or "Awesome!" and instead he was treated to a personal self reflected evaluation.

So where do I go from here? Is it possible to relocate myself? I believe that I have the ambition to find myself again. I have gained more energy as this year has progressed and I have a renewed desire to live in my light and not in the reflection of the past. This is a place I never thought I would return to and I am very pleased to be here. I can see past last year's review into the bright fifty first year that is ahead and propped on my head are a pair of sunglasses to protect my eyes. You see this is going to be a very bright year indeed, because I want it too be.