I
have been told that loss of a loved one or major changes in life can cause
emotional trauma. I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert on emotional
trauma, I won’t get into the nitty gritty of why I consider myself an expert,
because it is a long old story that you can read in my earlier blogs and
honestly it is time to move on. However I am looking down the barrel of an
empty nest and its making me a little loco (Spanish for crazy) and it is clear
that emotional trauma has set in. Let me start with where this trauma might be
coming from…
My
oldest daughter has moved to Connecticut, as in the state. All those things
that used to worry me now worry me on a grander scale and not being able to
physically see that she is well and making good choices is stirring my emotions
up.
Next,
we have my middle daughter who after a rocky start to summer has settled down
made great choices and actually likes being with me…sounds great right? What
could be wrong you ask? A week from this Friday she is heading back to college,
another perfectly good child abandoning ship which turns my emotions over even
more.
My
youngest daughter who has enjoyed two lovely vacations with me so far this
summer has informed me that she is tired of being with me, she has had enough
of our together time and would prefer I basically mind my P’s & Q’s and
stop offering what I consider perfectly solid advice about how to handle her
senior year that’s ahead of us in literally one month. This delightful tidbit
was like being dropped into a food processor. When I have mentioned that that
comment has hurt me she explains that it was a bad day and I need to move on…THAT
is going to take some doing!
Finally,
my husband is here. I mean ALL THE TIME. He works at home, he eats at home, he
sleeps at home (I know that’s good, but it adds dramatic effect to point it
out). My husband has taken a turn to the curmudgeon side. He is easily cranky,
annoyed by the slightest deviation from schedule or normal daily life and
frankly not much fun anymore. This bear is easily provoked. Let’s just put the
giant blade in the blender and mix up my emotional distress signal shall we?
I
have announced several times that I have reached my limit, but no one here is
taking me seriously, so I am letting you all know right now that an explosion
is not far off. I am starting to feel slightly hysterical and it will not be
pretty when I do finally blow. I am no longer even able to talk in a pleasant
tone of voice. I mostly speak in monotone and reply in one word answers just to
be on the safe side. If they had a bomb robot to defuse me, I would consider it
a good investment…but they don’t. The best course of action is to call up my
therapist and plunk down on the couch for a nice long mental tune up. At this
point it seems like the wisest choice, much better than the yelling and chasing
people idea I keep fantasizing about.
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