Life Goes On

As we prepared to leave for our family trip on Friday, my youngest daughter held up a pink water bottle I had placed in the backseat cup holder, “Mom, what’s this?” I stared at her for a minute like a deer in headlights took a deep breath and said “Nana…”. “WHAT? Mom, that’s weird!” she said as she freaked out about touching and holding the bottle and also deciding she should now wash her hands. “Avery, it’s not contaminated it just ashes.” “Seriously Mom that’s weird”. I tried explaining to her that that is how we got her Papa home from New Orleans two years ago and if it is good enough for Papa it is good enough for Nana, but she was to consumed with not having Nana ride in the back seat with her so Mom came up front with me. The water bottle was the safest most practical way for Mom to travel (in my opinion). I also know that my Mom would think it was funny too. It actually made the dispersing of the ashes easier as well. Who questions people and their motives when they are walking with a water bottle?  

This weekend we finally placed our parents together in a place we all enjoyed with them. Friday night we had dinner and then walked to a secluded area in the nearby woods. We each shared a thought or memory about our parents and then took some ashes in our hands and spread them. Every one of us had an opportunity to say good bye. We then all walked back to the lodge where we were staying together and had Mardi Gras the way our parents had done for us just a few years before. My sister and I threw beads and cups and toys to the family from an upstairs balcony and then we brought out the piñata and had the kids take turns hitting it until it the piñata burst open and the candy finally poured out. We were spending time together the way our parents would have wanted.

Our families laughed and talked together. We went rafting down a nearby river, played cards, walked and ate lots of food. It was a great tribute to the two people that together connected all of us. Now, life must go on. After years of focusing on negative feelings, hurts and wishing things were different we will all move on, we must. This is a busy senior year for my youngest and so many of us have new exciting things in our lives, moving on is the best way for us to honor the two people that we have lost. I know that is the way they would want it.