The Ashes

If you look real close you will see the picture of my Grandparents in their first car

Today I picked up Aunt Nina's ashes. We had a lovely day together, banking, grocery shopping and a quick stop at the post office. As I entered and exited the car I would greet her, letting her know where I was going and what I accomplished at each stop.

 Let be clear, I am not crazy. I just was not comfortable ignoring that she (Aunt Nina) was riding around in the backseat of my car. The odd thing is that I continue to feel the presence of my Mom, but my Aunt has apparently high tailed it out of here. Basically I guess I am just going through the motions of being polite to my Aunt even though it is not necessary. I said things like "Well Aunt Nina, everything is all set at the bank, I hope your Grandson's appreciate what you have done for them." Or, "I know that you might not like me spending money on an urn for you, but I feel after 93 years you deserve it. I will do my best to get a good deal though." OK, I am not crazy I am just acting like it!

 All and all the process of someone dying is far more work then someone being born. Maybe that's not true, maybe it is just that when a baby is born there are more people to lend a hand. This cleaning up after someone's life is complicated and it has me evaluating my house. I definitely do not want to leave a house full of stuff for my children to sort through. I remember when I had the 20 boxes of my Mom's stuff arrive and I was going through so much anguish about throwing things out. Ashleigh, (my oldest daughter) said "Mom, when you die all the girls and I are going to care about are things that remind us of you! Please get rid of this stuff" That was a tough day, but a good life lesson in value.

 My family has learned that releasing the stuff and embracing the memories is a far better route to take than keeping everything from every generation. I do have a few family items and even a few heirlooms tucked away, but over all I enjoy my pictures of my grandparents in their first car and my Mom holding me when I was a baby way more than I do the Antique pitcher, which is wrapped in a towel and put away so it won't break. I guess what I should say to Aunt Nina's ashes is "Thank you for the memories."