Meanest Mom Makeover

Things were not looking good yesterday, Miss Crabby Pants Teenager was moaning and lethargic and basically unreasonable. I set a time for her to accomplish the tasks I had given her and she was nowhere near the finish line. In my mind I had planned this nice afternoon of us spending some quality Mother/daughter time and the fact that my daughter was not motivated had made me decide that I was going to leave without her. Why should I sit around listening to my daughter moan and groan when I could enjoy my day? With this in mind I started getting ready to go off on my own.

Once my daughter got wind of my plan she started bugging me to come along. There was a lot of “P L E A S E” and groveling and sneak attack hugging until I finally gave in. Honestly, it was all for the best. Taking her with me gave me time to chat with my girl about what was going through her head. There seemed to be so much anxiety and stress and my hope was to ease some of those feelings.

Our first stop was at a local restaurant for a bite of lunch. We chatted a little, ate and headed out to get our nails done. Next we went to a local mall and walked around, tried on a few possible Homecoming dresses and poked through some of my daughters favorite stores. It was nice to spend the time with my daughter and not have an agenda. We were not fighting over clothes or her dirty room or anything else, we were just strolling along talking and laughing and enjoying our time together. Miss Teen Crabby Pants was still a little anxious, but she had stepped back from her ledge enough that we could have a good time.

In the end, it turns out that this year of huge decisions and big expectations has my daughter terrified. In addition to that the fact that after years of denial she is finally realizing that you have to grow up, there is just no way around it. If I had stood firm in my demands yesterday I might have missed the chance to talk with my youngest about her concerns. If I had not stepped back and looked at the big picture and not just her room, I would have missed her smiling face and her beautiful laugh. If I had not stopped talking about my demands and looked into her scared face I would have missed those eyes filled with worry and I would have never been able to hug her and tell my youngest that she was going to be okay.

Mean Mom had a makeover yesterday. I had to be reminded that parenting is not always about winning the battle, sometimes parenting is about reaching in to the trenches and offering a soft place to fall. In the end the messy room is a blip on the screen, but the laughs, hugs and time together will last both of us a lifetime. I know I have not seen the last of Miss Crabby Pants Teen, but I also know that she is not that tough and neither am I. We can both compromise for the good of the other and meet half way. There is hope for us yet!