This is Who I Am

There is just too much in my brain. I can write about some of it, but some of it I cannot. You should know that life is not fair, but lessons are always learned. Hearts are sometimes turned and other times you have to walk away. There are times when an explanation is necessary, and there are times when if they do not know you well enough to know the truth about you, then you should just walk away.

I am done worrying about what you think you know and what I should tell you. There is one thing you should hear from me though. This is who I am. I have never changed…ever. I am honest and caring, I give from my heart and I share who I am with you until you hurt me. I have never been greedy and I have never been hurtful, but once you hurt me…OK, honestly…once I have been hurt enough, I am done.

I do not feel like I have to prove to you that I am doing what is right. I am. I do not feel like I have to make decisions that will hurt my family to keep a hurtful person that thinks nothing of hurting others happy. You know they are hurtful, and you know that they have been corrupted and you also know that they have hurt and corrupted people you love and yet you still question my actions.

This frustration is too much for me to handle on my own, so I am giving it to God. In spite of the forgiveness, I still struggle with how to accept this situation. This person that you worry about and think has been hurt so badly is now and has always been a victim and will continue to be one, yet no matter how many times they hurt me or my family you still wonder why I walked away. Just know this, this is who I am, I am a child of God, I live to honor Him and rather than compromise myself and encourage the evil that this person represents, I have chosen to walk away from them. No explanation to them is necessary, because evil always knows what is happening and why. No explanation is necessary to you, because you have chosen to believe that I am the problem.

I still love you and care about you and I also know you are in a terrible position. I am not asking you to take a side, I am only asking that you stand aside and allow this situation to play out. No one can win this. This plan was set in motion by someone even more evil and the truth will come out and the right things will happen in time, they always do. Just please know that you do not understand what is happening and you must stop believing things you know nothing about. I have never talked to you about this because I did not want you in the middle, so please do not put yourself there. I am frustrated and hurt and I want you to believe in me just once, but I know that God does and in the end, that is all that matters.