The hard part about setting out to pursue the "me I want to be" is the time in between the pursuit and the dream. Real life steps in and reminds you that you cannot devote every moment to just you. Thus I spent my day yesterday in a cleaning frenzy. I dusted vacuumed, mopped, did laundry, changed sheets and washed the dogs. I was on a roll! It felt good to get some things done around my house. Perhaps not having a car made the choice a little easier, after all I was trapped here at home.
Another dream crusher is that my girls cannot seem to get a rhythm going yet this year. All I am looking for is that they come home relax for a few minutes and then do their homework, but instead they come home relax and then relax some more, which involves inhuman amounts of TV watching and computer time. It is like watching the human version of sloths! I cannot get them on a schedule, I am tired of them still working on homework at 8:00 or 9:00PM it makes my whole afternoon and evening stressful! This issue is going to be dealt with today, because I am now dangling from the end of my rope and if I slide any farther it will not be a pretty sight!
To help solidify that this week is not going to be the ultimate dream week, I am going to see my Great Aunt Nina today. She is eager to go visit her house, so we will be discussing that today. I have to find a way to squeeze taking her there into my life. She just wants to go there and look around. I think secretly she thinks I have had a garage sale of her personal belongings. It is hard dealing with someone that does not have a realistic understanding of what they can and cannot do. She wants to be home, but she cannot care for herself, and since I am the one that tells her this, I am now and always will be the bad guy. Not a great job, but I am willing to take it if it means that she is safe. If I have learned anything from this time with my Aunt, it is that as I age I need to be realistic about my limitations and trust my family to care for me the best that they can.
Today I will put aside my dreams and face reality. I have places to go and people to see so that is what I will do. There is always a chance that today is the day my girls find their rhythm and my Aunt realizes how fortunate she is to have Mark and me around to care for her. Even just one of those things happening today would be like crossing something off my dream board. Pure joy and excitement would ensue! In the mean time, I will make it a good day, or at the very least the best day I can with what I have to work with.
1 comment:
Even if your Aunt never fully appreciates how well you take care of her, know this one thing: There are many people in your life that would never make it, if it weren't for you. You take great care of everyone in you life, so you should be proud of how hard you work at that!!
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