Today
is Halloween and cookie day. Cookie day is a tradition that the high school
choir director started for the day after a choir concert. The kid’s work hard
getting ready for the concert and on cookie day (the day after the concert) they
all bring in cookies, talk about the concert and get ramped up on sugar. From
time to time I have made cookies to send into the class. Since the fall choir
concert was last night and today is Halloween, I decided to spend my afternoon
yesterday making cookies. Here is where my mind went…this is my daughters last
year of high school… “These moments will not happen again, I should make
Halloween cookies for her to take to school and make her smile.” Makes sense
right?
As
I sat in the concert last night, I could not help but think about how each moment
this year has a double meaning. While Avery is faced with many first and last
moments this year, so am I. I am not only celebrating her growing up and moving
on with her life I will be letting go of day to day mothering and learning to
be who I am meant to be now. As mothers we throw everything into our children,
we run at mothering full steam ahead. When we are young mothers, we have much
to prove. We spend every moment, sewing costumes for Halloween, planning fun
things for our families to do, household tasks, jobs, laundry, cooking and much
more. We multi task so much that when it comes time to release some of these
tasks it is traumatic, it feels like an ending.
The
truth is it is really a beginning, the beginning of being ourselves, for
ourselves. Who says I can’t make cookies next Halloween if I want to? Honestly,
I have decided to stop looking at the endings and peek around the corner at the
beginnings. I want to embrace what is ahead rather than clinging to what is behind.
Reaching back only makes the future harder.
So
today I am wearing a fun Halloween shirt and I am going to make a yummy pot of
chili to share with my husband. Avery is going to a girlfriend’s house for the
evening to trick or treat (I KNOW she is to old…you try telling her). Mark and
I will have a taste of what our future Halloween’s might be like. We will also
eat some of the Halloween cookies (It is our cookie day too) that I did not
send to school and probably a couple of Halloween treats from our candy we have
to give away to the trick or treaters.
There
will be moments when I glance back at the past and remember some special moments
for a second or two but I will not linger there, because when I look ahead I
see an amazing future and it has my name on it!
Happy
Halloween!
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| The Memory making begins! |
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| You can't tell but I have wax paper over the newspaper, I did not want you to think I was gross! |
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| The word wicked is all in glitter and I am spreading it ALL over my house! |
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