So THIS is Christmas

I want to change Christmas at my house. I want to enjoy the moments and the season and just not shop anymore. The real purpose and meaning has disappeared and I want to get it back. This year’s Christmas holiday is in full swing and trying to change things now would be like grabbing the tail of a jet and trying to keep it from flying. It just would not work.

I want the holiday to be reflective and joyful. I would love to adopt a family and buy gifts for them and share what we have. We are truly fortunate and somehow I think our family has lost touch with what real life is like for other families. Years ago when I was a single mom and my oldest daughter was not quite two years old I had nothing. My full time job paid me enough to pay my rent and daycare with some money left over for food. I was just making it; Christmas was an “extra” expense. I remember shopping for my daughter at the dollar store and feeling so sad because I could not do more for her. The funny part is that on Christmas morning she was delighted at every inexpensive item. She did not know where the gifts came from and she did not care.

It is so easy to get caught up in the push to buy Christmas for the ones we love. The advertising and the sales encourage us to focus on the things and not on the reason for the season, which was the birth of Christ. I feel ashamed that I too have become that person that is hunting and gathering just the right something’s for everyone and have spent little time reflecting on the true meaning of this special holiday. Early on in this season when my husband began to ask me what I wanted for Christmas I would say “I don’t need anything” and he would reply, “it’s not about need, what do you want?”. I could think of nothing until I stepped into the stores and read the ads and suddenly everything looked pretty and I “needed” it.

There is no use picking on myself or my family. We are not alone there are thousands of us out there doing the same thing, pawing and grabbing at items and hunting for what everyone wants. I have found myself stuffing the little red Salvation Army buckets more this year trying to ease my guilt, but this plan is not working. Something tells me that next year, with a new and better plan for the holiday, I will be able to say to my family, “So this is Christmas…I love it, it is just what I needed!”