Memoriam

It has been three years today since my Mom passed away. Three years ago today normal became a moving target. People have shown their true colors, some good and some bad and I have grown in some things and regressed in others. I have learned that what looks like no big deal from the outside can be a painful wreck on the inside and I have also learned that some people thrive on bitterness and misery.

I have guessed and second guessed on many things, but I have stood firm in my plan to make sure that the deceit that began long before my Mom died would somehow be repaired. I can never know the true extent of what happened to my Mom, but I know enough. What I do know makes me realize that those involved in her care thought primarily of themselves. Those that I trusted and believed only had her best interests at heart let her down with their greed, self importance and lies. What is left is a trail map of what happens to people when they think they are better than anyone else and the hurt that it can cause. Three years is a long time to be trying to make a wrong right, but that is how wrong it really was.

I am ready to move on from this painful point, but there is still work to do. Once the final decision has been made and the last paper signed, I hope we can finally move on and let my Mom rest in peace. Three years is a long time and when you are spending that time unraveling a mystery of hurt and wrong doing it can feel even longer. In the end all that really matters is that my Mom is gone. Nothing will change that, all I can do is continue to remember that I loved her. She was not a great Mom, but I loved her and I knew she loved me. In the end, that is all that matters.