Tough Love



Five short years ago when they needed me...

 I have a sense of urgency today. Both of my girls come home tonight and I have this need to get things done around my house today. Why, I think that my kids will care about the housework I finish before they get home is beyond me. None the less, I am compelled to try to accomplish a few things before we head out to see Aunt Nina. I am anxious and feel this mounting stress. Today it would be best if I am active and completing some household projects. Something like raking, folding laundry and cleaning out my fish pond will fill the bill. Anything that will make the time between now and when I can wrap my arms around my girls and welcome them home will do.

 There was a message on the church website this morning that perhaps some of the teens on the trip forgot how to apply sunscreen. I have my fingers crossed that Aly was not one of those kids; sunburn is the worst possible souvenir. Avery has told us that she has a bit of a burn and I am hoping that it is just a little pink and nothing to painful. Avery has always been the child that tans, so to hear that she had burned made feel a little guilt for not giving a better mommy reminder before she left.

 As I was lamenting some of these issues with my sister yesterday, she asked me "How old is she?" I started to laugh at that as I realized that both of these girls are old enough now to take on the responsibility for their own actions, and maybe Mommy needs to let go a little! So, today as I putter around the house and prepare for my children's return I should also prepare for the fact that this is just the beginning of my girls stepping out on their own. So mixed in with my urgent preparations today is a little bit of a reality check. My girls are able to take care of themselves and I am not doing them any favors if I hover over them and try to make everything OK. A little sunburn is a good lesson that sunscreen needs to be applied. Honestly, I figured that out when I was about their age and had basted myself with baby oil and fried myself like a sunny side up egg. Is this what they call tough love or letting go?

Quiet Time

I have just arrived back home from my whirlwind visit to Ashleigh's yesterday to pick up Roxanne our puppy princess. It is 10:30 AM and I am sitting with a cup of coffee to my left and the puppy princess draped over my toes. We are happy to be home even if it is only for a few minutes of respite before I begin buying groceries and preparing for my children and Mark to return home. Mark of course was off to work yesterday morning while I ran the roads to pick up our puppy princess. The girls are hitting the road today making their way home from Florida.

 We have heard from Avery a few times and she seems to be having a great time. According to the church website, Aly's group is doing well and also having a wonderful trip. Mark and I are planning one last quiet dinner at home tonight before everyone starts pouring in and sharing their travel stories. We are excited to see the girls and hear about all of their adventures. However, my priority right now is making sure there is food to eat for dinner and for my girls when they get home. This means there is not much more time for me to sipping coffee and lazing about. This was not that type of vacation week and it appears it is not going to become a lazy weekend either. I just have to hold on tight and be ready to hit the ground running tomorrow. Also in the mix of activities for tomorrow is a visit to my dear Aunt Nina. Mark is planning to go along with me and he usually helps to keep her in good spirits.

 We have no gifts to offer Aunt Nina or our girls from our own get away since we stayed off the beaten path and did no shopping at all. This works well for Aunt Nina, since we usually bring her a sweet treat and to be honest, she does not need the weight or the cavities. Her last visit to the dentist proved that she has decided to give up on dental hygiene. There was a good size bill for filled cavities, and I really do not want to be contributing to the delinquency of an elderly woman! She will just have to be happy with a visit.

 Enough quiet time, it is time to make a list and get back on the road, I have a husband and children that will want to eat…their funny that way.

The Souvenir

 

We left home

We closed and locked the door stepping into a time together

No expectations other than our time to reconnect and become one again

Long drives, long talks and quiet moments wrapped around us pulling us closer together

Our adventure did not draw us to shops or side shows, we were drawn to each other

We come home with empty hands and full unlocked hearts

Reunited...our one and only souvenir.

Heading Home

After three nights and two full days of relaxation, hiking and eating we are heading home. We hugged Ida the Bed and Breakfast Inn keeper good-bye this morning, and I actually got teary eyed. Ida was a kind woman with a calm spirit and a twinkle in her eye, she put us at ease the moment we arrived for our stay at Ancient Oaks Bed and Breakfast. I think the tears came from having to say good-bye to someone so kind and also because our mini adventure was coming to an end.

 Mark and I hiked in the Smokey Mountains on Monday. We made our way up the mountain to a waterfall which the hiking map had said was 1.3 miles, by the time we got to the falls, I knew that they had meant 1.3 miles there and 1.3 mile back. Just a little detail I would have liked to have known when I set out on our excursion, I might not have started out with so much gusto. Another detail they omitted from the map, the path was up hill all the way. That hike was quite the adventure.

 We also found a quaint little pub off the beaten path. It was more of a locals place and we enjoyed that the bartender kept offering samples of all the different beers that they served. We were able to sample beers we never find at home. The food was delicious and freshly prepared. We enjoyed it there so much, that we ended up going back yesterday as well. The friendliness of everyone we met made our get away all the more delightful.

 Heading home we hope that we can keep the laid back restful feeling for a few more days. Both of our youngest girls arrive home on Saturday. We have heard from Avery each day letting us know that she was safe and happy and just a little sunburned. Aly of course is phoneless and we have been reading a blog from her mission leaders that has shared that they are all safe and happy as well. Keeping this feeling of inner peace and calm will not be easy, but I think Mark and I will try our best. Perhaps on Sunday our family will be able to sit down together and share our stories. For now I will focus on not yelling out to Mark every time something on our route home startles me. While it makes me feel like I am helping, it drives Mark nuts.

 I find it quite amazing that I can write this and then send it out into the airwaves for you to read while I am riding along I-75. Tomorrow I will share more from our trip. Here are some more photos…

Tennessee Get Away

We drove 10 hours on Sunday to get here and it was worth every minute. I was a bit nervous when I found this bed and breakfast online that we would be in a too populated area or that the pictures were nicer than the actual place was, but my fears were unnecessary. As we drove into the area of Tennessee where the Ancient Oaks Bed and breakfast is located, I was delighted to see that it was far from the hustle and bustle and tourist trap feel that you sometimes find when you go to a highly traveled area like The Smokey Mountains.

 We drove our car up the mile long driveway of the bed and breakfast and we were literally driving straight up hill, but perched at the top of the foothill was a beautiful home that looked out into the surrounding area. Mark and I have been relaxing and enjoying our time together since we pulled out of our driveway Sunday morning. Arriving here has allowed us the time to talk and think and just be. We spent the day yesterday hiking a trail in the Smokey Mountains and enjoying the warm weather that was here when we arrived. Last night a furious thunder storm blew through and brought with it cooler temperatures and partly cloudy skies. Much like what we have had at home. We are in no hurry today and out plan is to take it easy and enjoy a slow paced day before we climb back in our car and head home tomorrow.

 I will plan on getting back to writing on Thursday morning when I am not ignoring Mark to write. I figure he will appreciate that. For now I will leave you with some pictures of our trip so far…

Off and Running

Phew! I am writing today as I sit in line for an oil change, in the car next to me is Mark, our first big outing since the girls have hit the road…oil changes. Actually we are both in desperate need of oil changes and it made sense to get them both out of the way at the same time. Besides, Mark and I are now leaving town as well and we need our car to be in top notch condition for our trip.

Aly of course was off to school yesterday while Avery lazed in bed. Avery's trip began late morning when she headed out with her best friend and her best friends family to Florida. When Aly arrived home from school she was calm and prepared. She shared with me that she was looking forward to a week of "not thinking". After months of advanced placement classes and play preparation, she is hoping that just swinging a hammer and making new friends will be a nice break. There is also the fact that both girls are taking separate vacations which will give them a nice break from each other. My hope is that they will return home happy and filled with love for each other. They will have missed each other and for a good two weeks or so, I will live in a fight free zone. Ahhh, the thought of it makes me smile. Once again, I dream of a happy place that I may never see.

Mark and I talked the other night and decided to grab this child free opportunity and renew our relationship. We found a fabulous looking Bed and Breakfast in Tennessee, and we are on our way tomorrow morning. In our true style we will be leaving very early tomorrow morning. The excitement is building. We have a lot to do today to get ourselves ready and out the door. We have oil changes, car washes, packing and meeting Ashleigh to drop off Roxanne my princess puppy, (and since Mark is scheduled to work at our church on the cameras tonight) church. I also would like to clean my house a little bit, call me crazy, but I like to come home to a clean house. As is also typical, many things will come up and get in our way of progress out the door, but that will not thwart our mission. One way or the other, with an oil change and a cup of coffee, we will be off and running at 5:30 AM. Not to worry I will also be keeping my blog as up to date as possible from the road.

 

 

Did You Really Just Say That?

A couple of nights ago Mark, Aly and I all went to the final meeting for her mission trip. Aly leaves this evening with several van loads of high school students and leaders for 8 days of community service. The meeting was to finalize the information transfer back and forth and it was also time for each teen to meet the people that are part of their group. This group will ride together and work together the entire week, and it is a great opportunity for Aly to make some new friends.

There are several things our church has requested from each student. First, no cell phones, they want the kids to be focused and part of the group. The concern is that many of the students might be uncomfortable and instead of participating and learning about the people they are with, they will revert to calling and texting family and friends and use the phone as avoidance. The other item the kids cannot bring is their IPod, same reason as the phone. Another item on the list was a request that girls wear one piece suits as a means of modesty, as well as wearing finger tip length shorts and no tank tops.

Our family felt that these were reasonable requests. We were not uncomfortable with the idea of no phones, and actually welcomed the chance for Aly to unplug a little. As for the dress code, we respect our churches position on this being a mission focused trip and not a Girls Gone Wild getaway. We knew what Aly was signing up for and we felt good about the direction the church was taking.

Back to the meeting…as we arrived we looked around and migrated towards a table on the far side of the room. We sat down and nodded at the woman already seated there and then the three of us, Mark, Aly and I went into our own little world thinking about everything we had left to get done this week. Honestly, Aly was texting away ignoring all of us. That is when our table mate spoke up. "You know my oldest daughter took this trip and loved it." Really, that is wonderful, my daughter is looking forward to it" I replied trying to be friendly. That's when she said it, "I let my daughter take her phone, I just told her to keep it hidden" I looked at Aly and replied to our table mate, "It will do my daughter good to take a break from her phone". As if I was not already stressed enough about our new friend's comments upsetting things for us, she felt she needed to add "I also let her wear a two piece swimsuit; she just wore a t-shirt over it". If this woman had known how long we shopped and how much convincing I had to do that the one piece suit was lovely, she hopefully would have kept her trap shut! Now I was aggravated and not feeling very Christian like at all. I wanted to glare at her and say "Did you really just say that?"

Here is where I stand on this; our church has done hundreds of mission trips. They work hard to insure the safety and well being of all that go on these trips. They also want them to be a centering and God filled experience. They have not asked for anything from these kids that they cannot handle and most probably many of them need the break that my daughter does. Finally, a rule is a rule! If you do not like the rules, then do not go on the trip and don't send your children. Finally, if you still want to send your children and encourage them to break the rules, please keep it to yourself. You do not need to brag about it and encourage others to break the rules so that you feel better! I am still shaking my head at this one. This same Mom may be wondering someday why her daughter never follows her rules at home. I on the other hand have a pretty good idea!