Day 49 The Perfect Mom Project

Well Homecoming is over...phew, the game, the dance, everything. Now we can move on to bigger and better things, which according to Avery is Halloween.

Aly spent a good amount of time on her preparations for the dance yesterday. There were only a couple of tense moments. We did a couple of things different with her hair from the original run through last weekend, and I am not sure that was a good idea, but she still looked beautiful. One of her friends invited all the girls to her house for dinner before hand and another invited all the girls back to her house for a sleepover after the dance. It will be a very tired daughter that is returned to me later today. I am so happy that Aly has friends that enjoy going to the school activities. It was always fun for me to get involved in the school events. Watching her get involved and seeing her so excited is a real thrill!

Both of the girls went to the Homecoming game on Friday night in the pouring rain. They actually stayed a lot longer then I thought they would. Once they got home though they both needed a hot bath to warm up. I have to say that being in the cold and rain is not my cup of tea, but as long as they are having fun, I am good with it.

There is so much going on in our life right now that if there is a chance to stop and have some fun, we are going to take it! Life is short and every minute counts, so I am not going sit around boo hooing over everything when I could be spending time with my family. I am not sure what a perfect Mom would do, but today this Mom is doing things her way!

Day 2 The Perfect Mom Project

Well, it is day two of my quest to understand motherhood. Yesterday seemed to be going well. I took my middle daughter Aly to get a cell phone. She is in the 10th grade and I was concerned that she was on the edge of becoming a social pariah because she did not have a phone. I have been told and I quote

"No one emails or talks on the phone anymore Mom, they only Facebook or text."

Since Aly did not have a phone she was somewhat limited in how she was contacted by her friends. I guess you could say she was out of the loop. We ended up spending a lot more time at the phone store then I wanted too, mainly because I could not decide what type of phone to get. I gave Aly my phone and changed the number, and I was going to up grade to a new phone. What a giant pain! I was roaming from phone to phone and by the end I picked one phone and as the very patient salesman was walking towards me, I changed my mind and ended up bringing home a phone I would like to throw out the window. I suddenly became this crazed woman, snapping at my kids and calling my husband to tell him how much I hate this phone. I am not thinking that this is how a "good" mom behaves. I was really not feeling good about myself. First because I can not make a decision, which my daughter kindly pointed out she can not do either and it is my fault and second, because I was taking everyone hostage in my frustration.

Later in the evening I had said good night to my kids and was relaxing in bed playing a game on my DS and my youngest daughter Avery came in and wanted to show me her folder for school. Being tired and spent from the day I was not very interested and told her that I was playing my game. She ever so nicely said to me

"Thanks Mom, I am glad you care so much. I see where I stand."

Oh the drama!! I felt like yelling that Moms are not always on call and that I had already said goodnight, so that meant her day was up. I really do not think that would have been the right thing to say. Maybe just knowing that I should not say that makes me a good Mom? HHHMMM something to think about. Today is another day and another chance to be...The Perfect Mom!

Crazy Lady

It has been 3 months since my Mom passed away. Since I did not have a lot of contact with her in the last years of her life and since we were not very close I never really expected her passing to affect me to deeply. Boy was I wrong, I have been struggling ever since. My biggest struggle is that I feel like I never really had a Mom. Of course I had a Mother, but not a Mom. Someone I could call to vent or hang out with and laugh with. Someone that I felt genuinely loved me and wanted to be a part of my life.

I have been feeling like I really missed out. If I did not have that in my life how can I be that for my kids. How can I be what I needed for my kids? Is it possible to be a good Mom if you did not have one? Is it possible to give what you did not get?

I am dedicating the next year starting today to exploring being a GOOD Mom. This will be my journey. I will be exploring what good really is and whether you can actually obtain good motherhood. I will share each days successes and failures. Hopefully in this journey I will learn something that will help me move on from my sadness and help bring some understanding of what a good Mom really is and what it means.

Is there such a thing as...The perfect Mom?