Nine Eleven

9/11/01 early in the morning I was preparing to spend the morning cleaning and then meeting Mark to sign papers for our refinancing later in the day. We were thrilled to have a shot at a lower interest rate on our mortgage. My normal day generally does not involve watching TV, but for some reason that morning I turned the television on while I was dusting. That is when I first saw and heard America’s heart change forever.

This morning on the radio there was a discussion about whether or not we Americans feel safe and if the measures put in place to protect us work. There were comments about the TSA and their intense measures monitoring the airports, there were also comments about how safe people feel.  What struck me the most was that the destruction and horror of that day has faded and we are now comfortable debating how safe we are and what is right and wrong with the system that is now in place. As Americans we had a false sense of being untouchable and above the nations that struggled with terrorism and here we were learning first hand that we were never more than seconds away from having our lives change forever.

I remember where I was that day and how I felt. I remember talking to my Mom and telling her that I loved her. I remember wanting to go up to the school to bring my children home but knowing that I did not want them to watch me spending my day glued to the horror that was unfolding in front of all of us on the television. Most of all, I remember the sadness. The very next day I had to run an errand at a department store. It felt inappropriate, but it was necessary. As I stood at the register a moment of silence was announced as requested by the President and the cashier took my hand and the hand of the woman behind me and we bowed our heads and cried.

The pace of life was changed, if only for a while. People seemed more patient with each other and everyone seemed to understand that you just cannot sweat the little things. America wept for those that were lost and our hearts were tender. Eleven years later we are still struck by the shock of that day. We are reminded through images the heart wrenching moments and the unbelievable miracles of that day but our full throttle pace has returned and our hearts while still tender seem less interested in kindness and patience. Life goes on.

The moments that will always dominate my memory of 9/11/01 is talking to my Mom and telling her that I love her because not long after that her memory gave way and I lost the essence of whom she was. I will also remember the awkward feeling of signing refinancing papers when it seemed the world might end. Most of all I remember holding hands with two strangers and crying and knowing that in that moment with all that was wrong in our America, three people that knew nothing of one another held hands and wept.