Putting a Bow on It

A while back my husband and I were with some friends and we were talking about how one of our friends is so good about sharing her feelings with people. Someone in our group said “She puts a bow on everything.” My husband responded “Ragen doesn’t put a bow on anything!” He is right, I don’t.

I don’t believe that I am mean or thoughtless, but I prefer full frontal honesty. If I am angry, you know it, if I am annoyed or aggravated or frustrated you will know it. I have always preferred the truth to the fluffy stuffed animal with a bow version. I see the good in adding a bow, but it’s not how I am. I say it how I think it. I’m not a complete insensitive boob, I do hold back and color my thoughts with deep thoughtful breaths and proper words that get to the point without being rude for friends and the outside world…but with my family I get right to the point. (Insert gritted teeth embarrassed look here.)

The thing is I don’t have the patience to sugar coat everything. If you’re driving me crazy by being unprepared or late I’m going to tell you. If you say you’re going to do something and you don’t, I believe it is within my rights to let you know that I am disappointed. I know it sounds like I am a verbal samurai but I assure you I am not. I just state the facts and feelings and skip the fancy bow.

I’m not sure why, but part of me feels a little like the bow cheats you out of handling a situation truthfully. You’re saving the other person from feeling or hearing the truth, which would in turn possibly help them evolve a little. You are also most certainly cheating yourself out of handling something that you are not happy with and potentially making yourself deal with feelings that wouldn’t be there if you had just put the responsible person on notice about what they did.

Honesty is not a bad thing. Stating your feelings and moving through a situation is in my opinion healthy for everyone. Let’s put our cards on the table and move forward. In the end the truth (as difficult as it can be), is the one thing that keeps us all working towards the same goal.  We are ultimately responsible for our own feelings. It is not fair to assume that anyone can or cannot handle the truth. It is what it is.

I do suppose that a small bow tied to the big truth might be a nice touch in some situations. Perhaps now that I have been called out as a “no bow” person it is only fair that I step back and think about it a little. I should also point out that my husband announcing my no bow policy at a table full of people was most definitely a “no bow” move…just saying!