Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Facebook Vs Friendship

There is nothing quite like a hot cup of tea or coffee, a candle burning and quiet music playing. It is calming and centering. This was how I would begin my morning writing session. I use to make time for this habit each morning and then I discovered Facebook. I avoided Facebook for a while and then after some good natured pressure by friends that wanted to “keep in touch” I made the leap. Now it feels like there is no going back. 

How do I leave Facebook? I have friends and family that do not live near by and I am able to keep up on what is happening with them and their families. There are funny quotes and dog and cat videos and and and blah blah blah. Basically, I have trapped myself into following the crowd instead of blazing my own trail. I use to encourage people to join Facebook and I use to except friends left and right. Now I’m thinning out my friends list and expressing admiration to the few that say they are not on Facebook

It started when it hit home that not all those people were my friends. People that actually asked to be my friend would walk past me and not even acknowledge me. That hit me kind of hard, “Wait...what’s wrong? Aren’t we friends?” Obviously, I didn’t say that, but I would walk around with a giant chip on my shoulder and complain to my poor husband (He could care less because he got off Facebook) because “Why would someone ask to be your friend when they don’t know you well enough to recognize you?” That’s when I stepped back and thought Ohhhh. I am just as much to blame, I accepted their friend requests.

Somehow I had the idea that each and every one of them truly wanted to be my friend. The truth is I was probably a friend of a friend of theirs and hey why not? Friendship is a big deal to me and I treasure each and every person that IS a friend of mine. I like seeing the new babies and the weddings and the joyful families all together. That’s what really matters to me, the relationship. Relationship comes from sharing life with people not staring at their feed on Facebook.   

I enjoy meeting with my friends for coffee or lunch or dinner and actually hearing their voice. I look forward to the times when I can relax with friends and share stories and talk and laugh and truly bond.  There isn’t any true bonding going on as I flick my finger past peoples lives on Facebook. People share and say some crazy crap on Facebook and many times I’m sitting here wondering if they would say the same things if they were face to face with the person, actually talking instead of hiding behind Facebooks shield.

Truth be told I’m not leaving Facebook. I am a glutton for punishment. I am, however, going to be more discerning about using Facebook as a way to relieve my waiting room moments or  the times that I could be just sitting and watching the sunrise quietly or reading a book. Actually a book is a terrific idea. I haven’t read a book in quite a while. I was too busy keeping up with all my friends on Facebook (insert eye roll here). I think my plan now is to choose friendship and face to face contact over  Facebook and flicking through someone’s life. I want to be experiencing life with them. Wish me luck my friend and SEE you soon!


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