Expectations

After a month of waiting, last night I finally went to the local flashlight corn maze with my girls and my sister and her family. Mark was unable to come he had to work late, which was a disappointment. I always look forward to the weekends and my time with Mark, so when he told me he was not going to make it, I had second thoughts. I decided it was not worth adding this to my list of things I did not do that I had wanted to, so I forged ahead.

There was some hesitation as I waited for my sister and her family to arrive. I did not want to be cold or wet, so I was trying to come up with just the right selection of clothing to be comfortable. Certain warm socks and shoes, a fleece pull over and a jacket over that should work, than I had to locate some flashlights and make sure they worked too. I was filling with anxiety. What if it is boring? What if it starts to rain? What if the kids don't like it? I had myself pretty worked up by the time my sister arrived.

"What's wrong?" she asked when she arrived. "Nothing" I lied.

Why ruin her fun with my giant list of worries and complaints.

My habit of building up my expectations and then having second thoughts has ruined many of my outings. I can never seem to just settle in with my plans and be happy I have to pick them to death. What if's have a way of plunging into just about everything I do. I know I mentioned just the other day how I look at things from every angle. That can work for me and against me it is a double edged sword. It is also the worst excitement killer I know of. You just get my mind racing mulling over all the if's ands, or buts and the party is over. It's like calling the police to tell them there is trouble before the party even begins.

After all this emotional mental drama we set out for the corn maze. We were dressed warm and cozy, had our flashlights, along with our get her done attitudes. Look out corn maze here we come. Over all it was fun, mostly because we were all together stumbling around in the dark. It was fun to spend time with my sister's kids and it was also fun to spend a few moments with my own before they ran off into the dark. I do have to say that I can think of a lot better ways to spend $5.00 per person but they do not involve spending time with my kids and sister and her family which in the big picture is priceless.

The life lesson that I keep learning and then forgetting is that expectations are most often the devils workshop. There is no way that after thinking everything through it will actually turn out exactly that way. Your mind is a great playground where you can set everything up just how you want it, but life is the real test and very often things go quite differently. I guess the lesson that I need to remember is that even if my vision does not match the outcome I can still have a good time. Expectations give you the prospect of future good, the rest is up to you. That I did not want to disappoint myself one more time was a great motivator and I am glad I listened to that voice, I had a much better time than I had "Expected".