Gift of Life

I have been saddened in the last few days by the stories of the young people that have chosen to take their lives based on the pain and humiliation inflicted by others. I shared recently the pain that was inflicted by middle school kids, and to hear that teens were choosing to end their life because of it was shocking, but actually no surprise to me. I remember the pain I felt from kids making fun of me for having bad acne. I cannot even imagine the pain these kids were feeling. These young people were struggling with their sexual orientation that is difficult enough for any young person, gay or straight without some insensitive kids mocking them and bullying them and even physically harming them for it.

 When you are in the middle of the bullying and mocking you feel so worthless. Your heart hurts and your mind is unable to process how people can be so hurtful. I remember feeling like the kids were right, I was gross and ugly. I wanted a place to hide. I also felt like I had nowhere to turn for help and support. No one would want to help an ugly person. My Mom was not someone I could lean on or count on, and we moved so often that there was no one that I had a strong enough bond with to talk to. I honestly had my own feelings of wanting to end my life to be free of the intense pain I felt.

 Yesterday, I learned of the It Gets Better Project. It is aimed at young people that are struggling with their sexual orientation, but listening to the people speaking out, I felt like they were talking to anyone that has felt humiliation and pain at the hands of another. It does get better, the concentrated group that you are with as you grow up becomes larger as you enter high school and even larger in college and finally once you are on your own in the world, you begin to find your way. It takes time, but it does get better. The wounds heal, but the scars remain. The memories will dim as life begins to flow more easily. Life's gift will be that through the scars and the memories you are able to remember the past and enjoy your future.

 You are never free of the scars and memories, but they do not control your life, they make you more understanding, loving and excepting of the differences in others. Life is a precious gift and each part of your life is like unwrapping a layer of paper and tissue. There is something special under there and you just have to be patient and take your time until you discover what is great and wondrous inside you. You just cannot give up and set the gift aside or throw it out. Time is the great leveler and healer, and you have to allow yourself at the very least the time to become the person you are meant to be. It does get better and judging by the amount of people gay and straight that are reaching out to others and telling their stories, many of us have felt this pain for many reasons and made our way through it. Hopefully, through this we can all see and appreciate the gift of life.