Now What?

This morning Aly's car is in the driveway and her cell phone is in my custody, tucked away out of her reach. Last night we had a show down and she lost. The battle is over, but the scars remain. I keep asking myself what I can do to help this child. I cannot decide if her anger and distain towards me is about me or about the stress she is under by trying to be perfect.

Last night, I stopped caring why and decided to treat the (in your face issue) of her anger and hostility. I have warned her for weeks that I would take her car if she did not stop with the anger and disrespect, but we always ended back here with no consequences. I also do not like the cell phone because she can curl up in her room and text her friends and not actually think about what she has said and what has happened.

So this morning, my girls took the bus, and that is the way it is going to be for the next few days. Something had to give, I am tired of the fighting and I am tired of the disrespect. If you are going to act like a two year old, you will be treated like one. The car, the phone and her whole life are supplemented by the very people she keeps telling us she hates. So now what? Would you want to keep giving to someone that did not appreciate you? Actually this is a great time to use Jillian Michaels tag line "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!"

There is going to be a lot of discomfort for all of us. We will now be picking up after practices and we will be driving them to lessons, but in the end we get our control back. Last night Aly told us she was moving out, I really said nothing when she said this because she is totally clueless. We want her to fly and we want her to be in charge of her own life, but her behavior seems more like a toddler testing us.

I have no patience left and I figure if she wants to be angry and mean, I will give her something to be angry and mean about! There are just a few months left and then we will drop our daughter at college. When I do that I want her to have an appreciation for what she has and who her cheerleaders are. Right now she seems to have lost her focus and it is my job to get it back for her. This afternoon Mark and I will join Aly for a luncheon where she is being acknowledged for her citizenship in school. How ironic is that. I will sit with pride with her and pray that something is said about respect and appreciation. Perhaps hearing about these things will hit home with her, but I doubt it.

If riding the bus and not having a cell phone are the worst things that ever happen to Aly, she will be pretty lucky. Life is a huge sea of opportunity and most times angry resentful people do not have much opportunity. I am done with the "Now what" and I am moving on to the "Put your hands up and slowly hand me your car keys and your phone." Perhaps taking these things away will lift some stress, who knows? Parenting is always educating if nothing else and it seems too often bring up the question…now what?