Contrite

I am not sure how Aly got there, but last night she was contrite. Just one day of bus riding and no cell phone and she had become calm and thoughtful. I however was not on board yet. She came to me to apologize and I listened and counseled, but I did not cave. No car or phone was relinquished.

When I put this plan in motion I had decided it would be a good long time before I handed back the fruits from the parent tree and that is still my plan. I explained to Aly that while she is sorry I am not ready to halt the punishment process, if I did what would that teach her? So often, you hear someone is sorry and moments later their actions tell you different. I want this punishment to leave a lasting impression.

Tonight Aly and I leave for a college scholarship competition at a State university. We will be traveling with a friend and her Mom. Aly asked if she could have her phone and I said I would think about it. There are play try-outs today and since she will be gone tomorrow she was hoping to find out who has what part by phone. I am on the fence, I explained to Aly that I like that she is off the technology grid and has a chance to rest her brain. Too often she is receiving and sending texts and never has a mental break from the world. Most likely, I will let her have her phone for a short time to get the play list. I mean really I am not a monster, but after that back to the shackles until Monday.

Things are so different from when our oldest daughter Ashleigh was growing up. Back then the big deal was that we would not let her have a phone in her room and when phones went cordless we were be up in arms when she took the phone in her room for a conversation. My, how the world has changed, now everyone has a phone and they are on them all the time. You never know who your kids are talking to and when. I can tell you I am not much better. I text and talk with the best of them, but I do not have my phone on hand all the time like some.

I know my Aly is a sweetheart and I know that she is working so hard to achieve the goals she has set for herself. I plan to support her and love her through this tough time. It is not easy when she is growling unkind things in my face, but her stress has to come out somewhere and I would rather it be here at home where we love and understand her. I know she was contrite last night, I felt her sincere grief at her behavior when she spoke to me. In the end what I wanted most was her to have some time to reflect and disconnect and I think that has been achieved. Just know that I stand firm and will hold onto the car and phone until Monday. Contrite or not a punishment is a punishment!

Since I will be on the road for the next couple of days, I will do my best to blog but I make no promises…