Aly was having a hard day. She was defiant and angry and virtually a spinning top of emotion. No matter what Mark and I said to her she would snarp back at us. It was blatantly disrespectful and hurtful, which we told her several times. As the day wore on our patience wore thin and both Mark and I were feeling battle weary and just a bit hysterical. We started laughing at inappropriate moments during our parenting, because the whole day seemed so ridiculous. I was personally at the point of contacting a counselor for my daughter because her anger was so intense and I felt she might need a third party to sort it out.
Fast forward to late in the afternoon when we asked our girls to get ready for church. Aly came out and said "Tell me what you think of my outfit". Honestly, anytime a female in our home makes this comment (including me) it is equal to hearing "Put your hands up or I'll shoot!" You don't want to tell them what you think, but you do not feel like you have a choice. So, very carefully I told her that perhaps the belt that she had cinched around her just above her waist was not necessary. I even went so far as to explain that she looked very pretty without it… "You will look more natural and comfortable looking". Her reply was "Well I like the belt, I think I look stupid without the belt!" and then she decided out loud, "Forget it; I am just going to wear my sweats!" She then ran and changed into her sweats.
This is where the planner me went a little buggy, because I did not really want to walk into church with sweat pants girl. I wanted her to look lovely and happy. Mark and I started by asking her to change to which she replied that she was "not going to church" and this deteriorated quickly into a full out tug of war between the parents and the child. It was not a pretty moment for any parent let alone one that was working so hard at being perfect.
Once Aly had changed and climbed in the car sobbing, we were off to church. Not the moment you hope for when heading out to worship. Once again Mark and I were like two hyenas, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation on the one hand and still trying to figure out what to do to get this kid back on the right track without to much damage to her or us.
When we arrived at church Aly had the angry looking arms folded teenager look going for her and we just let it be…I felt like saying "Keep walking please, there is nothing to see here folks!" I just did not want anyone to know that our teenager was in teenitudes mode and not the doting daughter of the perfect mom today. I mean really I do have a reputation to drag along with me, don't I? Once we settled in our seats and the lights dimmed we realized that this was the annual day of baptism at our church. It was a touching array of people that had decided to accept Christ and proclaim their love and faith in God. Even the angriest of teens was struggling to keep it together.
In years past our family has talked of being baptized at this event, but shied away for many reasons. We have all been baptized in the past and it seemed unnecessary to take that step again, but something was different yesterday, as I looked down the row at my girls I had a sense that they were both feeling the need to join the others and be baptized. I got Aly's attention and said "You want to go?" When she nodded at me, I said I will go with you if you want and she nodded again. At that point I grabbed Aly's hand and suddenly Mark was grabbing Avery's hand and we were walking towards the baptismal font. Dressed in our clothes completely unprepared we each accepted Christ into our lives. Aly and I chose to be baptized together and Mark and Avery then went together. We were sopping wet and completely happy. Aly hugged me and said "I love you Mom!"
All I know is that at that moment as we watched others "take the plunge" I could feel that this was a moment we needed as a family. It was like a stamp on our commitment as a family to love, honor and respect each other and grow in our faith. It is like when you are married and the pastor says "What God has joined together let no man put us under". We had flown by the seat of our pants and made a choice to be a family that rides the waves. I knew then that regardless of whether or not I ever see a moment of perfection in my parenting, I love my kids and that is the very best you can ask for when you are making your way through this maze called parenting. That's me coming in towards the finish line, arms pumping in the arm, full steam ahead!
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