One week from today this project will be over. I will be accountable to explain how far I've come in my parenting over the last year. Will I make the grade, or will I fall short, that is the question that is burning right now. Avery has been gone since Thursday, so I have been pouring all of my energy into mothering Aly, my middle daughter.
On Friday night we had a hard discussion about Aly wanting to quit the AP English class that she took for this coming year. The class included homework that will be due when school starts. Aly was required to read three novels; Crime and Punishment, The Kite Runner and The Color Purple. After reading each novel she is required to write three questions for each chapter and do an analysis of the characters. Pretty in depth and not what you would list in your book of summer fun. Crime and Punishment alone is a novel that was originally written in Russian in 1866 (by Fyodor Dostoyevsky) and translated into many languages including English. Sounds like a fun summer read doesn't it?
As we had our heated discussion about quitting, I tried to explain to Aly that quitting is the easy way out. While quitting sounds like the practical way to handle something hard, it is also the quickest way to feel like a failure. It is one thing to say it is too hard for me and I cannot do it, it is totally another to just quit because it is hard work. I have always believed that life teaches you the same lesson over and over until you get it. I tell my girls this all the time, I feel it is better to walk through the hard stuff the first time and get it over with then to get half way through and quit. Now you are stuck reliving this moment again and again until you get it. NO THANKS; just do it and be done! I also tried to explain to Aly that with all the people she knows that are taking this class, she must have a few that feel the way she is feeling and maybe they could all work together and help each other. She did not like that idea; she said "Nobody does that Mom!" At that point all I could say was, "That's too bad that none of you would work together and make this easier on yourselves".
Later that evening Aly went to a bonfire with some friends and ended up talking to another friend that is going through the same thing with the AP English class. After talking to her, I think Aly started to feel less alone. I think hearing someone else was struggling too, helped her feel like she was "normal". "This is a tough class and someone else was having a hard time too, gee maybe I am not so bad after all" That's all it took to convince her to keep plugging away and make this work. I would like to think my speech about not giving up when the going gets tough did the trick, but I do think that there is some truth to "It takes a village", somehow knowing that you are not alone, makes being in the middle of the hard stuff a little easier.
That is how I have felt the last year, writing out my heart every single day is not easy it has been very hard some days, but the kind words that I have received from time to time and even the random messages wondering why my blog has not been posted yet, have made the hard work of writing everyday easier. Just knowing that there are people out there pulling for me and even counting on me has made this process that much easier. So if I am handing out advice today, it would be, step into the hard stuff and walk through it. You will come out on the other side happy with yourself for making it through, and proud of yourself for hanging in there.
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