Day 347 The Perfect Mom Project

This morning I ran. I ran with Mark at 5AM and it felt good. I am determined to run in the local 5K race in a few weeks and I want to be ready. There is something about setting a goal and achieving it that gives me such a good feeling. Actually, writing this blog has done that for me too. Almost a year ago I set out to write about being a mom and about morning my mom and in just 18 days I will have succeeded in writing for 365 days. Actually 364 if you count Mark writing for me on my birthday. I have heard it said it takes 21 days to make a habit, so for me writing is now more than just a habit, it is a way of life. That is how exercise is for me as well, I have been walking with my girlfriends for almost 12 years and running on and off with Mark for 8 years. Exercising helps me feel like I am in charge of my body, and it is a good feeling.

 There is a little piece of me that is worrying lately about Alzheimer's disease. My Mom battled this heart wrenching illness for 6 years before she died, and I find myself worrying that if I do not care for myself and keep my mind and body active, I will face the same fate. For me writing this blog has been a way to chronicle some of my past for my children, and it has also been a way to keep my mind active. I worry a lot lately about my future memory. I know how frightening it is to watch someone go through the loss of memory and I cannot imagine actually living through it. No matter what, I know that ultimately this is in God's hands and I must live the life he has prepared for me. I have been living my life that way for a long time, and it has been a great life so far, so I guess I need to just put my trust in Him and live the life He has set before me. The last few months have taught me that you have to appreciate every moment and live each day with enthusiasm.

 In the mix of my life still hangs the business of my Mom and Dad's estate and somehow the running and the writing helps keep me from becoming completely immersed in all of that mess. It feels good to be able to pour out my heart and mind each day and then to run and walk out my frustrations too. With my goals set, I can relax knowing that I can succeed when I set my mind to it. This is a good lesson for me, and a great example to my kids, which is what this whole being a mom thing is all about anyway. So as I step back and take a look at the bigger picture, I realize that it all comes back to my job as a mom. I may not be anywhere near perfect yet, but no one will ever be able to say I did not try.