The Tipped Scale

I have no idea how it happened or why but I think I finally reached my limit. After years of warning my family that I was reaching my limit I am there. Now what? These people who I love so much have pushed and shoved me to this edge and I have no idea where to go from here. It was not anything big that got me here, it was actually quite small but even the smallest grain of sand can tip the scale and I have tipped.

I am frustrated with everyone being busy making it okay for them to be unable to perform a task for the betterment of our household. I am aggravated with the deep mournful sigh when I mention a household item that's not working right. Wanting the item repaired should not make me an annoyance. Why would I (or you) want to keep using something or living this way when it does not work right and why would I want to keep plugging away excepting a very bad alternate plan instead of just fixing the problem? If you do not know what is wrong, than get help, but for peat sake DO SOMETHING!

Life is too short to live with subpar. I want to live an on par kind of life and I am willing to fight for it. This would explain why I stood toe to toe with my daughter yesterday as she told me that she had told me something that I supposedly forgot. I have been here before and I know this child well and while I can forget things it feels like it is easier to throw the sensitive subject of my forgetting in my face rather than accepting responsibility for not actually telling me. The worst part is, we were sparring over some Rubbermaid containers. Why do I even care? Isn't my relationship with my daughter more valuable than some plastic?

That is what happens when you get to the edge and you feel unheard. You are suddenly shoved right to the edge, dangerously close to your limit. The very place you have warned everyone you were heading and they ignored the warnings. Now the family stands around gasping with haughty disgust at how unpleasant you are for "no reason at all"! Are they kidding? Were they not warned this was coming?

So as I teeter on the ledge of unraveling completely, I have to step back and remind myself that apparently some people do not heed warnings. I also have to except the fact that if I want something done, I may just have to do it myself. I cannot guarantee that I will be pleasant and easy going about it. It is difficult to find balance and centeredness when you are dangling from your limit. The scale is precariously tipped and one false move and over I will go. Please know that I may come back from this ledge like a yoyo but eventually this string may break and then there will be no coming back.