Wave Your Hands in the Air like You Don’t Care

What do you do when you are almost done raising your children and that is all you do? How do you let go while leaving some of your dignity intact? I can see that my daughter Aly is very over my mothering. She made it very clear as she prepared for her high school homecoming dance that my assistance was not needed. "How about your hair, do you need help?" I asked excited to be a part of the preparations. "Nope" she replied in her confident I have it under control voice. "Ok" I said as I slinked away.

 Avery on the other hand still wanted my help which made me feel a little better. I am not totally being tossed aside yet. I did Avery's hair and her make-up and everything went very well. We were all moving forward on schedule with no attitudes or tempers. It was all very nice, yet I felt let down. Honestly, Aly's breaking away so much earlier than I remember Ashleigh doing it. I think I am feeling blindsided with this unexpected cutting of the apron strings. I am standing here holding these chopped off apron strings wondering when it happened and why didn't I see it coming?

 In the middle of my shock I have had to pull myself together enough to not let on to Aly that anything is wrong. I still have to carry myself as if I am in control even though her interest in my opinions and input are minimal. I cannot let her see me sweat or show weakness that would give her the feeling that I am not needed and that is completely unacceptable. I plan to hang on to this mothering gig as long as I can!

 I am not ready to be out of work. I know I will always worry, and I have told all three girls that, but who knew I would mourn the loss of my ability to butt in? For now I am going to just wave my hands in the air like I don't care! I am going to remain calm and act naturally and perhaps this breaking away thing will slow down or stop for a little while. In the mean time the more I act like I do not realize the breaking away is happening the better…at least for me it is better, Aly on the other hand is perfecting her eye rolling and heavy sighing.