Boots

"Do you have a massager in there?"

Unlike many of my friends, I like this time of year, the weather is cooling down and we are layering up. I enjoy, even love hot and sunny summer days, but nothing can compare to full on cute sweater and boot weather. This time of year, I cannot wait to slide on my boots with the kitten heels and hit the road. My friends have from time to time pointed out that I dress up rather than down, but this cannot be helped. I was raised by a fashionista and I am continuing the tradition with my own children. A girl wants to feel good and look good right?

 A few years ago, Mark and I were touring Traverse City with some friends and the husband of my girl friend started calling her a cute and cleaver nick name. I liked it so much I started hounding Mark for a cute nick name too. At that time he informed me that nicknames just happen, you cannot force it. I was very disappointed. Throughout the remainder of our weekend getaway I was in constant search mode for my nickname, to which Mark then pointed out that you cannot nickname yourself. It was a big joke all weekend, that I was so jealous of my friend's nickname. Honestly, it was more about her husband thinking of something cute and special to call just her that intrigued me the most. I wanted there to be something about me that my husband thought was cute and special too. Well, be careful what you wish for, because it can give you a big old bite in the tuckus!

 As we were finishing up our fun weekend getaway, I was climbing into our car and realized that I had stepped in some mud. "YUCK, I have mud all over my boots" I yelled out. That's when the large bite of butt hit. "Muddy Boots, that will be your nickname" Mark announced. "Excuse me? My friend gets a cute and sassy nickname and I get Muddy Boots? I don't like it" I replied ticked off, but laughing because it was so ridiculous. Once again Mark pointed out, "You do not get to decide your own nickname".

 As time has gone on Mark has rarely used the nickname, but I have persuaded him to shorten it to "Boots". There is something about him calling Muddy Boots to me in public that just bugs the heck out of me. Here I am trying my hardest to look and feel pretty and my dork husband is saying, "Hey Muddy Boots, come here and see this." as everyone stares at me. Yeah thanks, now I feel like a million bucks.

 Over the weekend, Mark and I were out doing his every 5 year clothes shopping trip and I was standing outside the dressing room waiting to bestow my opinion on him of the various clothing items he was trying on. Here comes this salesman, (he was working the room), trying to get some sales I guess and he must have decided that I looked like a good candidate. "Wow, look at those" he said looking at my boots. "Do you have a massager in there?" I just looked at him thinking "Idiot!", but I just said "No". Since he apparently could not tell that my Bozo reflector shield was up, he kept talking, "Oh, I just saw those pointy toes and I have always thought how uncomfortable they must be" he said in his super sleazy salesman voice. "Actually, they are very comfortable" I said and then turned my head away to show that our discussion was now over. Apparently, where he is from he was not taught body language, because he kept at it. "Yeah, I have had people tell me that before, I just cannot imagine cramming my toes in there". I just looked at him with my SHUT UP eyes and said ha ha "yeah" then turned towards the dressing room and said "Hey Mark, I will wait for you in the shoes".

 For as much trouble as my boots have caused me, I still love them, and I am very happy that the time has come for me to pull them out of their boxes. The other high point for me this year is that I had to retire some boots last year, so I will be on the lookout for some replacements. In the big picture, I really do not care about the nickname so much, I know that Mark loves me, it is just fun to have a cute name other than the one I am sure the salesman called me as I turned and ran away from him. So for the record, you can call me Boots.