Mothers Day

Yesterday was Mothers Day. Each year this one day is cause for great anxiety and disappointment at my house. Most of my family is not skilled at planning, which means that I usually spend Mothers Day wishing it was the day after Mothers Day and we had all moved on. There is the awkward waiting for something to happen since with no planning there is nothing happening or the family gathers around waiting for me to tell them what I “want to do today”.

Yesterday my oldest daughter (who inherited my planning gene) took the reins and guided my other girls in making a breakfast/brunch. It was delicious and pleasant and not the slightest bit awkward and uncomfortable. In addition to my oldest daughter taking the lead, I also dropped my expectations. The saying goes that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I decided to stop acting crazy and expecting my non planning family to suddenly plan, I mean they did ask what I wanted to do for Mothers Day which was much better than nothing at all.

It is a constant battle for me to give up my expectations. I know what my family can handle and planning is not high on their list. Expecting them to change for Mothers day every year only ends up making me disappointed and sad. It also does not help when you hear others share surprise and delight at their Mothers Day bounty on the social media sites either. That alone can put a painfully expectant mother into a tail spin. Better to just prepare for the worst and be pleased with any thoughtfulness at all.

In the end it was a wonderful day because that is what I wanted. I had no desire to feel badly or disappointed, so I just didn’t. I ate my delicious brunch and when quizzed about what I might want to do the rest of the day I decided to go shopping with my girls. We spent a few hours poking in several stores and enjoying our girl time together then came home and had a nice dinner prepared by my husband Mark. In the end not having expectations and offering up some suggestions on what I would like to do on “My day” did help make this one of the better Mothers Days I have had. So that will be my new recipe for success in the years to come, no expectations and a little bit of input. This is much better than disappointment, anxiety and stress any day!