Writers Wrestle

Each day when I sit down with my little notebook computer and settle in to write, I am faced with a challenge. Some days the challenge is of no consequence and other days I am stymied. The mornings when I am already turning an idea over and over in my head are sweet, not having to wonder what might pour from my finger tips into my blog is always plus.

There are times when I write about my life and an interaction that I have had with a friend or family member. These musings of what has happened with someone I care about are on the one hand exciting to share since many times my life parallels someone else's and my view point helps a reader decide best how they might live through the same instance and other times the writing can be difficult.

When I begin to write about someone I care about and my interaction with them, I am more interested in sharing my reaction to the event. The writers wrestle comes in how to share the story without letting on too much detail and hurting the person I chose to write about. At one point I was struggling with the antics of my Dad a few years ago and my writing was a cleansing process. While I was hurt I still tried to turn the events over and over to be able to see what was happening more clearly. Partly because I try to believe most people are not inherently evil and partly because when you are knee deep in painful events you tend to lose perspective. Writing out many of the things that happen helps me regain perspective.

I have written about issues that have come up in the past and although my attempt was to share a story and be humorous and thought provoking, I have upset or at least annoyed one of my stories characters. When this happens I am forced to step back and reevaluate what I wrote and how I could have better presented the story without hurting another. Many times I have to look at the reality that while I might not think I have said anything hurtful, my friend or family member is entitled to their feelings. My job then is to hear the person out and make amends as best I can.

This morning as I sat down to write I had already decided to share my writers wrestle with you. It is the writing that pours out easily that I enjoy the most because it carries my genuine feelings and comes without pause. If in some way I have ever shared about you in frustration or in love please know that it is because deep down my heart wants nothing more than to understand the event or feelings between us and that I am always trying to evolve past where I am in my life. The best way to evolve (for me) is to look closely at what has happened and gain perspective for everyone's sake. I do not want to remain stuck in old hurts and unanswered questions, so know that if I have chosen to share our story here, our relationship holds great value to me and I am hoping that we will grow together. Our friendship or relationship pours from my finger tips and hopefully touches the life of another for the better.