On Time

There was a time in my life when I was always on time. I would arrive on time or early everywhere I went. I was obsessive about being on time. Most often my being on time required me to wait. Wait in my car, wait in a restaurant, wait in the doctor's office and wait on a friends couch…you get the point. Being on time is a coveted comment someone makes about you. Being on time shows you are considerate of others and aware of deadlines. You are a good person if you arrive within the preset boundaries, however you become a waiter. Not the "Your order will be right up" kind of waiter, but the kind of person that is waiting for things to get started and for people to show up.

A few years ago I decided I was tired of waiting and tired of starring into the panicked eyes of a host that had thought they had ten more minutes to get ready. I wanted to take some stress off myself. I really did not set out to become a renegade late person; I only wanted to take it down a notch. Spend less time sitting on someone else's couch and more on my own. I also thought I could get more done at home if I saved some of that waiting time.

That's how it started…my being late I mean. I would gather up a load of laundry and throw it in the wash or let the dog out "real quick" (like any dog does anything "real quick", especially when you want them to). I have all kinds of things that I have done at the last minute before heading out the door, actually it is now to the point that I am always late. I look at the clock and it feels for a moment like a show down at the Okay Corral. I think "I can do it, I can beat the clock!" I grab whatever it is I think I can accomplish and I go for it.

The hard part is that what started out as a way of releasing me from the uptight bondage of timeliness has turned into a full on disregard for time all together. It is not pretty! Instead of trying to do one more thing, now I attempt two and sometimes three more things. I then find myself running to the car and hoping that all of the slow drivers are safely off the road and out of my way. Suddenly my problem of lateness becomes everyone else's problem since the world slows down just to annoy me.

I am tired of my lateness, I am tired of the look that others give me that says, "late again. No big shock!" I am also tired of explaining why I am late. Last week I was running late for something and I decided I was not going to apologize. It really made no sense to say I was sorry for something that I continued to do even though I know I am doing it. If you apologize it is because you recognize that you made a mistake and you plan not to do it again. That is why I have decided I am going to be on time.

My goal is punctuality. My goal is to be on time and take others schedules more seriously, so that they take me more seriously. No more waiting until it is already late to get moving. I will get moving and watch the clock and head out the door on time. If I am running late it will be for something far more serious than a load of laundry or a too long session of Facebook.

I am taking back my clock and arriving on time. I am going to show others that respect and also myself. I do not want to have people expecting me to run late, so then they are late and by the time it trickles done a whole community is late for something. There is a fine line to being on time and I will work carefully to find it. I do not want to be a waiter, but I do not want others waiting for me. It's going to take some time to get back on track, but don't worry I won't keep you waiting!