Transitions

Avery and Aly first day of school September 6, 2011

It's happening and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Life is changing and I will have to change too if I want to keep up. After a busy weekend I find myself home alone. The girls started school this morning, Avery heading into her sophomore year and Aly into her senior year. The house is quiet and I find myself reflecting on the changes ahead. My once tidy house is topsy turvey and I keep looking at the tidbits of mess and keep thinking "I will worry about that later", right now I just want to revel in the quiet.

 It has been a few weeks since I received the news that my oldest daughter Ashleigh has left her husband and is planning to divorce. I hesitated to share the news because my heart had hoped that she would change her mind, but she has told me she will not and my heart is so sad. I did not see this coming, I love my son-in-law, but I did not live with him and I do not know what happened behind their closed doors that could have damaged them both so much. Mark and I encouraged them both to seek help and to hang in there, but we both know now that we must leave this in their hands. We can only worry about our own marriage. We both know that there is no perfect marriage nor is there a perfect mate, there is only two imperfect people joined together making their way the best they can. Our choices and our life are our own and we know we must focus on that and let our children work through their own choices. That is what makes each of us who we are.

 Aly being a senior brings a new batch of transition to the table as we work with her to apply to colleges and plot out the course she would like her life to take from here. We are all excited and apprehensive. Aly wants to make the right choice for college but struggles with wondering what that right choice is and Mark and I must once again stand aside and let one of our children decide what is best for them.

 Avery announced yesterday that she wants to be a vegetarian. While I find her decision admirable, the fact that she likes just a few vegetables and considers peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a sustaining food choice makes me worry about whether this is an appropriate choice for her right now. I am going to humor her and encourage this life choice as best I can, but at some point we may have to have a talk about good health and healthy choices. At least for now I can try to have some say in my youngest daughter's decision making. In the end she will eat what she wants, but her health and well being are my main concern.

 I have three girls and they are each in the throes of life choices that are their own. Stepping aside and letting them live out these choices is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am a fixer, I like to help and I like to give my opinion and my advice, but those days of my girls doing what I say or even really caring what I think are pretty much over. Life is happening and changing and there is nothing I can do but sit back and enjoy this quiet for a little while. Soon, very soon in fact all three will be moving in the world and I will still be here reveling in the quiet wishing I could give just one last piece of advice.